“Dr. Evans?” Jade said, opening her office door, worry spiked her voice when she spotted Marlena laying on the couch, curled into a ball. Her head wiped towards Marlena, who had her eyes closed, color lost in her cheeks. “I’m fine,” she said in a stilted voice. But she was hunched over on the couch, and her hands tightened around her stomach.

Noticing her growing belly, Jade jumped forward towards her, “Oh my god, Dr. Evans! Are you...are you pregnant?”

“They’re false contractions.” Jesus Christ.

“Oh fuck, you’re having contractions right now?” she fell on her knees next to the blonde beauty

“They’re false,” Marlena emphasized, growling out the words, and her eyes snapped open, just to reassure the girl in front of her. She blew out a long breath. “I have three more months until my due date. It’s too soon.” Now she noticed how Jade was examining her movements, her gaze traveled across her body.

 

“Oh, God…” Marlena gripped the edge of the fabric seat and glanced at the girl. “Don’t….worry….I’m...going to be...just..fine.”

“You’re in pain, and you’re still worried about me?” Jade asked like she thought Marlena was a little bit insane. She was. One-hundred percent insanity. She always cared so much about other people, and that hasn’t changed.

Jade watched her, “Do you want me to call someone?,” she asked, “Do you need some water?”

Marlena shook her head a couple times. She really couldn’t tell if this was false labor or not. She hoped it was not.

 

Her breathing turned shallower as time went by, she was right, this was false labor, as the pain subsided, Marlena realized, it finally really hit her, Jade. Jade was at her office. Last time she saw her was a little over six months ago, right before she left for Fiji, the trip that caused her parts of her body and her soul.

“Jade” Marlena breathed, trying to lift her body on the couch, “It’s been over six months since I last saw you...I thought I would never see you again.”

Jade looked at her lap, she had no intention of coming back, not by a long shot. Kit had left her scared, frightened, terrified of even mentioning what happened to anyone. She had only one urge, the urge to forget, to deny that evening ever occurred. She couldn’t it hunted her, her thoughts were filled with venom, hate and violence. She kept seeing him every time she closed her eyes.

 

 

….His actions drew blood from her upper lip, she scrambled on her feet to run, but his heavy hand on her throat slammed her back to the bed. “Let me go, asshole!” A spine-shattering slap echoed across the woman’s face. Instantly, she couldn’t move. she tried to move her arms, but they wouldn’t respond. Her head rested on the bed, her eyes growing with fear.

 

“I was hoping you’d play it that way.” He lunged for her instantly and dragged her across the bed by the ankle. She screamed and clawed at the sheets, trying to squirm to get away. She fought with everything she had, he liked it, in some angles, she did look like Marlena, but every time he looked at her and realized that it was not her, it drove him mad with anger.

He tucked her legs between his and held her down on her stomach. She was no match for his weight even though she kept fighting. He grabbed her panties from underneath her skirt and yanked them off.

“No!” She tried to turn over to reject him, but she couldn’t move. He kept her pinned while he got his pants and boxers off. His cock sprung free, thick and long. He stared at her ass, and it reminded him of watching Marlena’s ass as she walked up the stairs a few days ago, wearing her white thong...

“Stop! Please.”  

“There’s nothing that I want more than to tie Marlena up and fuck her senseless.

You are nothing like her, you will never be her! so just shut the fuck up!” he muttered into her ear, his raging cock pressed against her ass. He watched as tears were pouring down her flushed cheeks “When I think about making her cry, it makes me come in my pants like a freakin' boy.

I’m a predator. And you know what predator do in the dark.” he lowered his lips to her neck, sucking it the hardest that he could, thinking it was Marlena’s creamy neck, she yelled in pain when his sucking turned into biting and he stopped only when he could taste her blood in his mouth...

 

Jade shook her head, her eyes fell on her lap and she stood up, taking a seat on the couch next to the beautiful blonde woman. Marlena exhaled her palms to her stomach. She pain ceased to exist.

She looked up at the quiet girl in front of her. "Jade? What are you doing here so late?"

Jade smiled, her smile was sad, it felt as though nothing changed at all from that horrible night, six months ago. "Dr. Evans, I was about to ask you the same question." she avoided.

"I work here," Marlena responded dryly.

The girl laughed. "I know that. I meant, what are you doing at work at this time?"

 

Marlena sighed. She was not going to explain what had woken her up this morning. Jade didn't need to hear about her problems. Some things, after all, were not meant to be shared. "Probably the same thing as you. Trying to get away for a while, and you?"

 

Jade shrugged noncommittally, Marlena wouldn't let it go that easily. Truthfully, she was thrilled to have someone to talk to, someone who wasn't aware of her past. And Marlena found the idea of Jade back at her office fascinating. She would love to know what went on inside her mind for all these months. Was she in need of help? "Jade, are you all right?"

 

"I am...I was actually coming here for you" The faraway look in Marlena's eyes made that response seem even more intriguing.

 

"And why is that?" the Doctor inquired curiously. "What keeps you up at night?"

 

"I don't like falling asleep..." the young woman responded. There was more to the story, she knew all about it, and she was having the same issues herself. "I spend a lot of time wide awake at strange hours."

 

Marlena looked at her with such warmth in her eyes, she knew it all too well. "So what do you think about, when the rest of the world is sleeping?"

 

Jade just shook her head. "Him."

 

Marlena wanted to tell her that she knew how she felt, that she was having the same problems, but after all, she was the trained physician at the room. She wanted to know more about her nights, about her black dreams. More than anything, she wanted to help her, to listen to someone else's problems for a change. "I understand," she said softly.

 

“I saw you on the news” she spoke finally, her voice was quiet, almost as if she was telling a lie, or playing hide and seek with a predator. Marlena’s head snapped up “News? You saw what on the news?”

“I know what happened….I saw his..picture...I had to-”

“Hold on, hold on” She spoke quickly, her hands moved with her words to emphasize her surprise, “Tell me...tell me what you saw please” she was almost too scared to ask her, too horrified to hear the details, but she had to know.

“They showed both your pictures….I could never forget his face They said he kidnapped you for a while...and..the place was burned...nothing has left...they showed the air footages…”

 

Marlena’s insides were raging. She wanted to throw something out of the window, in fact, she wanted to throw herself out of it. Her breathing turned ragged, trying to think of a proper answer, a proper way to continue this conversation without breaking down in tears. Was that even possible?

She raised her eyes to the girl, “Jade. Thank you for coming to check up on me. As you see, I’m alive and well..is there anything that you would like to talk about?”

Ok, that was a good response, Marlena, she thought, but, will she buy into it?

Disbelieve was evident in Jade’s eyes, suddenly, a big wave of embarrassment washed over her and all she wanted was to bolt out of that nice office.

 

Although, she didn’t.

Something about her understood.

 

"Jade, talk to me," Marlena asked gently.

Waiting for the girl to speak, the blood rushed to Marlena’s head. Her blood was pounding in her ears and an uncomfortable feeling of panic rose in her chest. So, Jade had heard something. Everybody heard something. The news? It was on the freakin’ news?
She wanted to push Jade away, she wanted to tell her to get out and stop nosing around in her business. She didn't want to reveal yet another thing that would expose all the horrors she went through.

"It's okay, Jade. It's just you and me here," she reassured, her tone gentle and soothing.

"That's the problem," Jade whispered so quietly that Marlena almost didn't catch what she said.

"Why's that a problem?" she asked softly.

"You've already been through too much I-"

"Stop," Marlena cut in, "I wouldn't be here unless I wanted to be, I told you that," she said, giving Jade's shoulder a slight squeeze before she moved to hold her hand in her own, "what's going on, talk to me,"

"Y-you've seen me, it's too much. I know it's stupid but I just feel so..." Jade babbled, ending her sentence with a sigh when she realized she couldn't voice her feelings out loud.

"Vulnerable," Marlena said quietly, finishing her sentence for her.

Pulling her hand out of Marlena's loose grip, Jade wrapped her arms around herself. It was a defensive pose Marlena had become very familiar with since all that has happened. She remembered that night oh too well, the night she saw Jade for the very first time...

 

….Taking a long deep breath, she continued "...I tried to give him what he wanted...I did.. but..but he was mad. He went on and on about how I was not 'her', how I could never be 'her'.

I didn’t know what he was talking about". Tears glided on her puffy cheeks, Marlena laid a comforting hand on top of hers, as she continued "He... bit me...and.. hi-hit me ... I begged for him to stop" her eyes grew a little wider, wider as she could possibly muster in her condition,"What kind of a monster gets off on hurting someone like this?"

Marlena stroked her hand. Her mind was full of her own demons, she had to hold herself from crying by that girl's horrible descriptions, "Listen now, it’s not your fault. Whoever did this is a sick individual, in high need of some kind of help."  

“Can you call it..... a rape when you're a... a hooker”? she gasped

״Yes, sweetie, what this man did to you was not consensual, therefore it is rape״

Leaning forward she stroked the young girl's hair a little, somehow she reminded her of Sami and her heart came out to her, "did you know this man?"

"No", she replied, "he was just a trick that the agency sent me to. I never met him before."

 

״Agency?״

"Yes, I’m a call girl...." the girl looked down at her hands, ashamed.

Marlena reached up to brush a stray hair from her eye, "Hey, I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to try and help you. Please don’t feel ashamed of anything. Now tell me, did he do or say anything else that you remember?"

Crying silently, tears falling down her face, she described the vicious attack and the way he beat and raped her.

She looked up at Dr. Evans, saw the genuine concern in her eyes, it's been a while since someone looked at her like that and it warmed her heart some.

"He kept repeating how I was not like her...what was the name.." looking at the ceiling she squinted her eyes, trying to remember his dreadful words.

"..Melissa or Margie... no, Marlena."Marlena's eyes nearly popped out when that girl mentioned her name.

"He said I was not Marlena and I would never be. I was paying for not being her. Maybe she was an ex or something."

Marlena froze, her eyes grew wide. "What?"  she whispered, as fear filled her mind, her body shook with chills. ...

 

 

 

Jade sighed and closed her eyes. She wished it wasn't this hard. Marlena was there, doing everything she could think of to make this easier for her, and she knew the blonde had been through something similar, that she understood, but Jade just couldn't do it, it was so hard for her to trust people, it was a miracle she'd let Marlena in this much.

"You know I was raped, you saw me that night," Jade said quietly, and the words felt foreign to her as she spoke them.

She'd only ever said it once, to her, six months ago.

“It was...it was him..the guy from the news..he-”

“I know..me too”

The girl lifted her eyes at the beauty in front of her, the doctor smiled, her eyes watery, taking Jade’s hand in hers she waited to Jade to speak, “after all this time...Why do I feel so ashamed, Dr. Evans? I feel Like it was all a bad dream...only it wasn't. Was it?” tears washed over her rosy cheeks.

“No it wasn’t....and you can't wish it away, but that doesn't mean it won't go away in time..listen to me” Marlena was trying to be brave, she knew exactly what to say, saying it made her feel like a big hypocrite, but the need to comfort this child at her office, was more significant than her fear of the truth.

“until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can't bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze and stained your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, and pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.”

 

Jade nodded, keeping quiet.

Marlena didn't want to rush her, not now that she was opening up. She heard Jade sniffles, and squeezed her hand, back to being the comforter, not the comforted.

"No one believed me," Jade admitted, her face screwing up as she remembered, and Marlena's heart went out to her, "not even my mother, only my bestie did, but there was nothing she could do,"

"I believe you," Marlena said firmly and Jade shook her head sadly.

“Sometimes I’m acting as though it never happened to me...sometimes it helps, it makes me feel normal again”  the girl’s words made sense to her. She wanted to do the same, only she couldn’t. Her mind couldn’t shut the images,  his rough touch on her body and the pain of his words. Placing her palm to her belly, almost wanting to wish it away too, she started, “Don't deny that you have feelings about what happened. Clinically speaking-” she stopped and took a deep breath, that was all she could muster at the moment, only clinical talk, clinic facts can’t hurt her, clinic talk was safe. It couldn't expose how she felt, “Women react differently to trauma, there are two responses to the crime of rape.  the first response is withdrawal, the woman tends to hide away until she feels there’s a safe place for her to be in the world again, and the second response is denial, the woman saying, an awful thing happened, it happened to me, and I don't want to think about it right now. both those reactions are normal. You can't beat yourself up about how you reacted in an impossible situation, that's not fair," Marlena explained, she felt like she was talking to herself too, only she wasn't ready to face that.

 

Dealing with Jade’s problems was safer.

Marlena wasn't ready to feel anything yet, she knew how the poor girl was feeling but she tried to ease up her pain some.

“I don’t know myself anymore...All I’m doing since that horrific night is wondering the street of Salem, alone. Sometimes I see gags doing drugs, other times I’m blowing some guy at an ally, for some small change..anything just not to go to sleep, just not to see him again...just not to be really alone..I’m such a slut” her voice broke and she stood up, walking toward Marlena’s desk, the doctor didn’t move, just looked at her, “you never need to apologize for how you chose to survive”.

 

Lies.Lies. Why was she lying to that poor creature? Was that because she just got back home? Because the bruises were still eminent on her flesh as though she was raped last night?  Was that because John was lying unconscious and there was nothing she could do about it?

She felt like a hypocrite.

Was she?

 

Suddenly Jade spoke, silencing the noises inside Marlena’s head. She smiled at the woman,  a slightly frightened smile, and Marlena couldn't help but be reminded of Kit.
"I’d better leave now...I just wanted to say thank you," she said softly. "For talking to me back then...I appreciate it."

"I'm always here for you, honey," Marlena responded quietly. "I hope you know that."

 

*****
 

Darkness.

Marlena pushed the car key back into her hand and started backing away from him. Taking two significant steps to her, Kit grabbed her hand and yanked her back to the car. Spinning her around, he bent her over the car ’s engine hood.

“Missed me?” He hissed as his hand came down in a solid whap three times. Each time it connects with her bottom he heard her breath gasp out.

 

“You escaped” he whispered into her ear, “ I will never let you get away again. No one will help you. You’re fucking mine. Do you need a reminder of that?”

Whimpering, she didn’t speak. Kit didn’t know if it was the spanking or the violence in his voice… It was probably a mixture of them both leaving her mute as she stared at the white hood. Leaning in, he rested his fingers around her neck, she tied to jerk back up.

“Fight it all you want, Kitten, but you need to come to the realization that you’re fucking mine. You will never get away from me, and now you fucked up Baby Girl...you got yourself knocked up with my little bastard. I told you that I’d kill you if you got yourself pregnant, didn’t I? Oh but that would be such a waste, I want to fuck you not kill you. I want to fuck you while you scream in pain and pleasure, you do remember all the fun we had don’t you Kitten? “

She shook her head again and turned away from him.

 

“You can fight this all you want...” Pulling her back up, he looked her hard in her eyes, “in fact, I love it when you fight, it gets me so hard.” Marlena tried to scream, but Kit’s hand slammed across her mouth.

“Shhh, Princess... save the screaming for playtime.”

Kit pulled her against him, pushing his erection against her belly, with his mouth close to her ear he whispered again. “You feel that Kitten? That’s just for you.” Pressing his lips against hers, he held her to him.

 

He didn’t stop until she was panting. Her hands pushed at him as always. Always fighting his little Kitten was. Still fighting the demon who has stolen her from her family, from her life. Unwillingly, her soft lips parted, and her breath came out in short, small bursts as his tongue skimmed across her own. Caged in his arms, he pulled her tight to his body. When he finally stopped, he forced himself to her, pushing her over the engine hood again.

 

All he wanted was to thrust his cock into her tight pussy. Flipping her on her stomach again, Kit slammed Marlena down against the car's hood. He reached up her white skirt and ripped her panties off, tossing them to the ground. Pushing her skirt up around her waist, as she struggled to get free. Kit gathered her wrists and pushed them above her head and held them with one hand against the hood of the car. With his other hand, he unzipped his pants and pulled his throbbing cock free. Marlena screamed out in protest as he rubbed the head of his cock against her ass then between the folds at her center.

“This pussy is mine Kitten. Say it. Tell me that you belong to me, baby.”

Marlena screamed.

“Nooooo!”  tears ran down her face. She kicked back toward Kit, trying to free herself to no avail. She could feel the head of his engorged penis pressed against her entrance-

 

“STOPPPP!!!!!”

 

Marlena awoke clutching the blanket with her fists, sheets wound around her like a vise. The scream she'd been about to release died in her throat. Marlena sat up, gasping for air, and blinked her eyes rapidly to focus. Reaching a shaking hand toward the nightstand, she fumbled around until she found the light switch. She flicked it on and forced herself to breathe deeply. Slowly, the world around her came back into focus, and she remembered where she was, and who she was. She sat up in bed, returning to the present, and to reality.

 

"It was only a dream." Those five words, meant to bring her comfort, instead served as a warning that nothing was ever as it appeared. There was no such thing as 'just a dream' anymore, not when they brought such vivid reminders of events that should have never happened, to no one. She wanted to leave those dreams behind, and the realities that accompanied them. But can we ever really leave our pasts behind? Or are we simply able to outrun it for a while, only to trip up and allow it to overwhelm us yet again? Her past had returned with a vengeance, and the nightmares that wracked her dreams were tearing her apart.
 

She glanced at the clock. 6 a.m. Well, it could have been worse. At least she'd gotten a couple of hours of sleep. There would be no going back to bed tonight: she wasn't going to risk any more nightmares.

 

Taking the receiver in her hand, she dialed a number and waited, she knew it was too early, she knew it wasn’t appropriate, but she knew that it was time.

 

A sleepy womanly voice echoed from the other side of the line.

 

“Dr. Snow, It’s Dr. Marlena Evans, I’m sorry for the time but... we need to talk.”