Kit. When she had treated him with disrespect and sarcasm, he’d had absolutely no patience. He had immediately needed to dominate and punish her. So she knew how to make him angry. That was useful. Even if the cost was high. She couldn’t recall seeing this kind of raw, dare she say it, naked power urge since she met Kellem Chandler. It was different with Stefano, she wasn’t sure of different how, but for some odd reason,it did.

 

What was funny was how easy it was to do as much crying as she had to do with this man. Tears had stopped flowing for her a short time after she and John were forced to deny their feelings to one another and she got back with Roman. Nothing after that made her want to release them. Yet, now, every time she told herself to not to cry or weep or sob or shake or shudder or tremble, it wasn't easy, as if the tears and the terror had just been waitin, needing no request to appear. But he was a roller coaster ride, this one, pretend to be gentle then brutal, demanding then giving, raping her for his own pleasure then insisting on making sure she got hers. All to keep her off balance, all to show that he was in control of everything, even her most intimate responses. If she held back, he won. If she gave in, he won. She might as well allow herself the pleasure he offered her, given that she assumed only worse lay ahead, but she never gave in. Giving in ment he won the final battle, she will never let him see her that way, broken. He’d believe he was winning no matter what she did. That was it. That was the secret. He always believed he was winning. Somewhere in there was his weakness. It was important to fight back but only so hard. He had to continue to believe he was ahead, on top, but that it was an accomplishment, that she did present a real challenge. She didn’t know exactly how she had to use it, but she knew it was the key.

 

Marlena stood outside the office, she had started to open the door and walked in several times only to stop herself. Why was she so nervous about this? Were her patients like this when they came to see her for the first time. ‘Come on, Marlena she’s  harmless’ the voice said , ‘in fact she is here to listen and help. The same as you do’.

 

Marlena tries again to reach for the doorknob and pulled her hand back like it was on fire. Turning, she began to leave when the door suddenly opened.

“Hello, May I help you.” Dr Snow spoke softly.

“No, I..I‘ve changed my mind.” Marlena starts to leave again when a hand reached out and gently touched her arm, pulling back a bit. She turned to face Dr. Snow. Her big brown eyes stared at her.

“Hello Dr. Evans, we have an appointment today, isn’t that right?”

Marlena looked at the Doctor slightly embarrassed, her fingers clenched into fists. what was she doing there? this was a mistake, she had to leave, this was-

“Yes we do, in a few minutes as a matter of fact” She heard her voice, but she didn’t recognize it.

The blonde extended her hand to Dr. Snow “It’s nice to see you again, I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, I’m not quite use to being on this side of the couch. Call me Marlena, please.” It was so Surreal, she thought she was dreaming, only she knew she wasn’t, in her dreams the purple bruises on her body were gone.

 

“Well Marlena, please come in and we’ll talk for awhile. If that’s ok.” There was something soothing about the tall brunette, Marlena sensed it when they first met at Laura’s office, she was easy to talk to.

 

Marlena smooths her skirt out of nerves before walking into the Doctor's office.

Dr Snow turned on her heels, leading her into the big sunlit office.

“Emma”

“Pardon” Marlena answered.

“My name, please call me Emma.”

“Ok Emma, do you mind if I just sit in this chair?”

“Yes please sit wherever you are most comfortable.”

Marlena sat and nervously looked around the room. It was elegantly decorated in rich mahogany and soft fabrics. There were quite a few beautiful paintings adorning the wall. A big window at the far end of the room, which let in lots of soft natural light. The wall behind Emma’s desk presented her framed diplomas.

 

Emma observed as Marlena took her seat, she could tell she was very nervous. Marlena was stunning, tall and beautiful, impeccably dressed in a tailored royal blue suit. She crossed her legs, and when she did, her skirt reaching mid-thigh. She seemed almost too pretty to be a doctor, she looked more like a model or actress. Emma noticed that Marlena balled her hands into a fist when she sat and they laid in her lap.

 

“Johns Hopkins.” She said suddenly.

Emma’s head snapped up, she was so deep in thought that she was startled by Marlena’s voice.

“What was that?” Emma asked with a smile.

“I see you went to Johns Hopkins. I did as well.” Marlena didn’t know why she was trying to make small talk, being a psychiatrist herself, she knew the drill. The nerves were getting to her.

“Yes, yes I did. Wonderful learning hospital, wouldn’t you agree?”

It made the blonde smile, and she nodded, Emma continued, “But we are not here to talk about medical degrees are we? Our mutual Colleague and your good friend Dr. Horton told me that you have had a rough few months of late. Would you like to tell me about it?”

 

Marlena looked at Dr. Snow, she tucked her short black hair behind her ear every few minutes, like she was trying to get to a new haircut. Her kind face lit on when she smiled.

There was something about her that felt like home, comfortable as it was if she could be comfortable in this situation. Under different circumstances, they could probably be friends.

“I.. uh.. I don’t really know where to start. I tell all my patients that talking about a trauma is the first step in healing and I truly believe that. It’s just that… I…”

Marlena’s eyes trailed off, looking down at her lap.

“It’s just easier to listen to people’s troubles than to talk about your own.” Emma started, then went silent, waiting for the blonde doctor to continue.

 

She looked up with watery eyes and nodded her head. “Yes exactly. I haven’t said the words out loud to anyone, Laura know that I was kidnapped, held against my will and was...r-raped repeatedly, but she doesn’t know how evil Kit really was. I just couldn’t tell her all that he did.” Just saying his name out loud made her body quiver.

 

Emma leaned forward, placing her hand on Marlena’s hand, it made her lift her eyes and look at the big eyes woman in front of her. “Would you like to give it a try with me? Tell you what, pick one thing that he did and start with that, it could be the worst thing or not and you can go into as much detail as you are comfortable with. Ok?”

Marlena looked away and up at her doctor again and gave her a weak smile. “Ok, I’ll try.” She said huskily.

 

“Well…” she took a deep breath,” I met Kit at the hospital, he was posing as an intern and wanted me to mentor him. I agreed. I grew to trust him and he seemed eager to learn and was very knowledgeable.”

So far, so good Marlena, you can do this, the voice said again.

“Only this man was a monster...he was nothing like the person he portrayed himself to be. While away on a conference he drugged and raped me then took me, hostage.” Marlena started to croak up as her mouth and throat went dry. Noticing this, Emma got up and fetched her a glass of water, handing her the cold tall glass. Marlena unclenched one fist and took the water, nodding a thank you.

“Would you like to continue Marlena?” Emma asked.

“Yes..” she whispered, still holding the glass in her palms. “Kit took me to some sort of underground bunker, I woke up sometime the next morning. I was naked and covered in a blanket. I had no idea where I was or how I got there but when I got up to find some clothes I could feel the pain all over my body... I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, my body was covered in... bruises and…. bitemarks” her voice cracked and her fingertips played with a water drop that slid on the cold material, “I knew I had been raped. I didn’t know by whom or when or even, what day it was, I remember I was so scared and wanted to run but I was locked in that dreadful room.”

Marlena stopped again and took another drink, placing the cup on the end table, she balled her hand into a fist in her lap once again. Emma noticed that her knee was bouncing up and down her nerves were raw.

“Do you want to stop , Marlena?” Emma asked quietly

Marlena nodded again, her lips whispered ‘no’, she had to do this, she had to face it. “Soon the door opened and I thought this may be my opportunity to escape, then he walked in. It was Kit and he had an evil smirk on his face.. I remember looking into his eyes.. even before he spoke, they were so black... He seemed so different, dark and twisted” her mind went back to that moment she first laid eyes on him, the feeling that something awful has happened was stronger than before.” He took pleasure in telling me what he had done to me and how I enjoyed it. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me...Then sometime later he showed me the tape, the sick bastard made a tape of him... raping me.” Marlena buried her face in her hands as she began to sob, her shoulders shook and her legs and arms trembled. Emma scooted to the edge of her chair and took both Marlena’s hand in hers, pulling them away from her face. Looking into her eyes she simply said, “I am so sorry that this happened to you, no woman should ever have to endure that kind of treatment.”

Emma’s heart broke for Marlena as tears ran down her beautiful face and fell from her long lashes.

“Would you like to take a short break?” Emma offered.

 

Marlena nodded her head as a ‘no’, “I….I must do this...I must do this for myself...I have to try…” her voice shook when she spoke, the tears kept pouring down her soft cheeks, the look in her eyes was of absolute abandonment. How she wished she wasn’t there at all. She wished for a sense of normalcy, for a lazy morning at home, drinking tea wished John, talking about their lives. This was heart-wrenching and the baby moving inside of her from time to time, was a constant reminder of her sheer terror, that this might be the child of her rapist, of Kit.

“I woke to him hovering over me, weighty, ominous and dark... Thick bands of some strong and serpentine thing coiled around my wrists. My covers had been scraped down...and I laid naked and exposed. I tried to call out for help, but he had shut my mouth with his palm”, She started, her mind was racing, she wasn’t sure she was even awake.


...Kit leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Be still princess and stop screaming and I will take my hand away. Will you stop?”

Marlena nodded her head as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. He licked away a stray tear before it fell onto her cheek and Marlena turned her head away.

Kit slowly removed his hand from her mouth, “Now, isn’t that better Kitten?”

“You fucking bastard” she muttered.

Kit grabbed a handful of hair and yanked her head back aggressively, exposing her lips for his mouth to take. He kissed her hard, practically bruising her lips. His hands on her waist, and he pulled her against him, wanting her to understand just how much his cock wanted to fuck her tight pussy. Her lips were unresponsive. He moved his lips with aggression and hostility. Their teeth rubbed together by mistake, but he liked it. Kit’s hand gave her ass a firm squeeze before he pulled away. “Talk to me like that again, and see what happens.”

“Please...stop....” she sobbed

“Shhhhh...Oh, no, Kitten, this is only the beginning. I came in here to —”

“You came in here to rape me. You think I’m your sex toy...I’m not...please...don’t do this...there’s still time...you can still let me go. “

“You can’t moan like that and expect me to do nothing about it, princess, I own you, I own every moan, every scream...” his hands moved to her hips, and he squeezed her tightly, she tried to pull away, “I’m not letting you go. Not now. Not ever. The only escape you’ll find from this place is when I kill you. Do you understand me?” Her eyes lacked any fear. She stared at him in disbelief, not believing a word he said. She moved her hands against the restrains, fighting for dominion over the argument. “You won’t hurt me. You won’t kill me, if anything, I will be the one who will.”

“You’re a silly little kitten, you know that?” he hated it when she stood up to him. But he fucking loved it at the same time.

“When you had the chance to shoot me at the forest, you didn’t. You aren’t fooling anyone, Marlena. You’re a good person—”

“You son of a bitch” she shook her hands again, her movements filled with anger and frustrations. Kit slapped her across her face, he didn’t use much force because the collision of his hand against her cheek would be enough to shut her the fuck up. “Don’t talk about me like you know me. You don’t know anything about me!" she screamed again, ignoring the pain on her face. He grabbed her chin tightly and forced her to look into his eyes, "Marlena, I will strangle you with my bare hands and watch the light leave your eyes. Stop talking.”

He caressed her cheek, feeling the heat of his slap long after the

collision ended. She kept her gaze to the ceiling, recovering from the shock of what he just did and said.

“I’ll do it again.” And he meant that. She turned her face, tearing her cheeks from his rough hands, tears in her eyes. She truly didn’t expect him to lay a hand on her, to hit her. Yes, he was violent, but he has never hit her before.

 

He leaned into her, pressing his weight to her hot body, he kissed her forehead, almost lovingly,  with the speed of a viper, she moved her hands and scratched his right eyeball, her fingers across his face—as hard as she could. His face turned with her movement, and he felt the burning, stinging aching in his eye. It set his nerves on fire, unleashing the beast that was already roaming his head. His cock was hard in his trousers, and his mouth ached for hers. He wanted to twist her nipples until she screamed. He turned his face back to her, his nostrils flaring. He wanted to fuck her right then and there. No woman had ever attacked him before. She had a spine harder than most men. She had a fierceness that rivaled his own. Kit had never been so fucking hard in his life. She raised her head, pointed her finger at his face. “Don’t you ever touch me again.”

 

He grabbed her by the neck and pinned her back of the bed, jolting her even though she’d been expecting something. He leaned over her, his face pressed close to hers. “You’re playing with fire here, princess.” he squeezed her throat, almost constricting her air supply. The more she fought him, the sweeter the victory.  “spread your legs, Kitten and I swear to god, I won't stop until you're shaking” His desire got the best of him, and he placed a kiss to her mouth. He grabbed her aggressively, she released a dreadful breath, her thighs squeezed together underneath his body, bracing herself.

 

Her fighting spirit aroused him, but it was a wasted effort. “Believe me, Kitten, you don’t want to test my patience. Let's be clear. The fact that I haven't devoured you yet is a credit to what self-control I have left. Once that's gone, your ass is mine. Do I need to ask you again?  ”

His lips brushed past hers when he spoke, and he looked at the fear in her eyes. She tried to speak, but most of her words never came out. Only one did.

“No.”

His cock twitched in his trousers when he won the battle. Every war they fought was challenging, but that made his victory all the sweeter. Kit pressed his mouth to hers and gave her a soft kiss, a gift for her obedience.

“Good girl.” He spoke silently.

Although her legs didn’t move.

 

This was the first time she spoke about what happened. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her nose and continued, “He kept telling me to relax... and pushed my legs apart... I panicked...I tried to throw him off me, but he had too good a grip…I begged Emma, I plead for him to stop, but the words choked out like a gurgle...”
Emma sat beside her, her eyes never leaving her face, her hands, she wanted her to go on, but something deep within her just wanted her to stop, she could feel her pain and the feeling was cutting through her, making her bleed.
“....he thrust itself inside me, sullying me, draping its dark satisfaction over me like a death shroud. He kept repeating how he owns me...how I was only his... I..I was trying to fight him off me, but he tied my….my ankles to...he tied..to a bar..” she broke. Her mind was filled with dreadful images of Kit, opening her legs with the spreader bar, raping her rapidly.

 

“Would you like to take a break?” Emma said quickly, her breath caught at her throat, she wished the blonde beauty would agree.

 

Marlena shook her head as a ‘yes’ and Emma pointed her to the restroom in her office.

As Marlena splashed her face with water and collected herself, Emma jotted down some notes, she had wanted to give Marlena her full attention so she didn’t write while Marlena spoke.  How could anyone hurt this woman the way he did, in all her years as a physiatrist she couldn’t understand the pure evil of some people.

Marlena emerged from the restroom, her eyes puffy, but she looked much calmer,

“Would you like to continue, you can take up where you left off or you can talk about anything you like. You still have plenty of time. My next patient isn’t for an hour yet.”

She watched Marlena taking a seat at the far end of the couch this time, fixing her blonde hair to the back.

“If it’s ok with you Dr. Sn.. um, Emma, I think that’s all I can do for today... I’m feeling a little drained right now.”

“Ok, how about this, I don’t really want you to drive home right now, you are a little too distracted. I’ll make us some tea and you can sit here and collect yourself. You don’t have to talk at all if you do not want to. Or we could talk about the weather.” Emma offered her a dazzling smile and Marlena couldn’t help but smiling back, “That sounds lovely, I could use a cup of tea, thank you.”

Emma excused herself.
 

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to chase the demons away. She knew what she just did was healthy, but it was taking its toll on her mind and spirit. It was like she had to go through this all over again, this time, in her mind. This was not easy.

 

“Nothing painful ever is.”

Hearing the voice behind her Marlena’s head snapped up and she looked at the brunette doctor. She hadn’t realized she had spoken out loud. “Sorry”, she said, “I didn’t realize that I spoke out loud.”

Emma walked around the couch, placing the tray on the coffee table, sitting down next to Marlena. “Don’t worry”, she replied pouring Marlena the hot beverage to a tall white mug “We both know how this goes, if it were easy to verbalize the traumas in our lives, then you and I would be out of a job wouldn’t we?” Marlena took the mug, the lavender tea smelled incredible and she closed her eyes for a second to enjoy the smell.

She smiled, “I guess you're right, we would.”
 

“So tell me, Marlena, did you grow up in Salem.”

“No, I was born and raised in Colorado. After medical school and Johns Hopkins, I ended up here. I took an internship at university and am still there now. Are you from here?” that idle conversation eased her mind some and she gently blew on the hot tea before taking the rims of the cup to her soft lips.

Emma kept looking at her, she seemed at ease, relaxed in a way, but she knew, she knew her blood was boiling with horror underneath it all.

“No, I was born in Sacramento and grew up in Florida. I went to medical school at Harvard. I loved Boston and thought I would stay there but after everything was said and done I ended up here. I started my own practice eight years ago.” she looked around the room, her hand caressed the soft fabric of her sofa.

“Do you like it here, or do you miss the warm weather and the ocean?” Marlena placed her cup on the mahogany table and shifted her hair to the back again “ I love the water, I’m drawn to it. I love to walk down on the pier, no matter what the weather.”

“I love it here actually, I vacation in Florida often and I get my fix then. The pier you say? I’ll have to check that out sometime.”

Marlena finished her tea and stood up, smoothing her skirt once more. A nervous habit most likely, Emma thought.

“Well I should be getting back to the hospital, I want to see John, my fiancé and I’ve got some work to do. Should I make an appointment with your secretary on my way out?”

“She is off today, I’ll make an appointment for you. I think I’d like to block ninety minutes next time so you can take your time and not feel pressured.”

“I don’t know, that’s a long session.” Emma smiles and squeezed Marlena’s hand.

“Ok, but I can’t promise I’ll talk the whole time, I’m more of a listener.”

The two ladies giggled at her little joke.
Something inside her was even smiling.

 

*********

 

Emma walked into her big villa. The hour grew late, but she needed a quick wash. Listening to Marlena’s descriptions of how that monster treated her, made her sick to her stomach. Yes, unfortunately, this was not the first woman talking about rape at her office, but something about Marlena was different. Maybe it was the way she talked or the way her nose wrinkled when she laughed or the fact that she was Laura’s friend, that made her feel a feeling of closeness towards that woman. All she could think of was helping her extract the demons from her soul.  Thinking about her blonde patient, about her need to help her through this ordeal, she walked into the shower.

 

The hot water washing the day off her body, she was tired, couldn't wait for her head to meet the soft white pillow, she closed her eyes. An image appeared in her mind, then, suddenly…Marlena, with the tip of her finger in her mouth. Emma froze. What the hell? She was her patient. In spite of the hot water of the shower, goosebumps sprang up on her arms. She tried to erase the thought, tried to shove it back to wherever it came from, but it was too late; the image was already branded onto her brain. A wave of feeling spiraled out from her gut and tore through the fibers of her muscles, set her groin pulsing with an intensity that bordered on pain. Emma massaged shampoo into her hair, frantically scrubbing her scalp and trying to work up as much lather as possible. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the image to go away. But instead of it fading, more came one after another, like a slideshow. Marlena throwing her head back in ecstasy. Her pressing her lips against Marlena's neck. Emma sliding her hand up Marlena's breasts, touching her. Emma placed her palms to the wet tiles and tried to catch her breath. The sound of her heart pounding in her ears was far louder than the rushing water. The images kept coming—her eyes, her mouth, her hands…The pulsing between Emma's legs was unbearable. She put her hand there with the intent to stop it but it only made her hot, she gasped.
 

Suddenly, a clear image, she was right there at the shower with her, all wet

“Tell me what you want from me, Emma.” Imaginary Marlena asked, she wasn't there, she wasn't even near her, but she could definitely hear her voice, Emma shut her eyes and opened the floodgates of her mind to a deluge of every fantasy she’d ever denied herself. With her eyes still closed, she whispered to herself: “Everything.” There was silence in the room except for the dull buzz of water dripping on the floor below.
“What do you mean, ‘everything’?” Marlena gave her a deadpan look.
“you don’t know?”
Emma’s pulse throbbed in her temples. Her eyes opened up quickly, she was alone.