Laura walked into Marlena’s room pushing a wheelchair, her friend sat on the bed, all dressed up and ready to go, she knew Marlena has been prepared to go home for the past two days, but she really wanted her to stay in for some more tests. It bothered her that she couldn’t do anything to take her pain away, she really wanted too. “Hey sweetie, Are you ready for your ride home? Caroline is bringing the kids by with supper in about an hour, just enough time to get you home and settled in before they get there.”

“Oh Laura, I don’t need that darn chair, I’m perfectly fine.” she insisted and stood up, her weight shifted a little bit, it didn't go unnoticed by Laura but she didn’t want to argue with her, so she smiled, “I know you do, but it’s hospital rules which you know very well my friend. Now, get in this chair, and we’ll be on our way.” She tapped the leathery seat rest, waiting for her friend to take her seat.

“I want to stop off at John’s room first. I want to tell him that I’m going home for a bit to see the children, and I’ll be back soon.” her voice was shaking a little when she talked about him, like it was oh so normal, to talk to your unconscious fiance.

“Sure Marlena, but not for too long, you are still healing you know. Speaking of which-” she stopped and bent over to retrieve a purple bag from the floor, showing it to Marlena “I’m prepared to stay with you, I’ve even packed an overnight bag.” she smiled.

Marlena wrinkled her nose, merely for a second, “We’ll see my friend, right now I just want to see my babies and have a decent meal.”

 

After a brief stop at John’s hospital room, they were on their way to the penthouse. Marlena seemed to be in relatively good spirits. Laura attributed that to the fact that she would soon be holding her children.

Soon after they arrived at the penthouse, and Marlena got showered and changed, the children came bounding in arm flung out for hugs and kisses, which Marlena quickly obliged them with. She squealed and wrapped Belle and Brady in her arms, peppering their sweet faces with kisses.

“Oh, I have missed you two so very much. Oh my! You look so big! You must tell me everything you’ve been up to.” her face glowed when she talked, couldn't stop smiling. Oh, Brady has gotten so big, and he looked so much like John. The chatter went on and on as both were so anxious to tell her all about fishing with Grandpa Shawn. They were so excited to see their momma.

 

“Oh Caroline, thank you for taking such good care of them! I know John feels the same” Marlena looked at her with watery eyes, touched by the big heart this woman has. She always treated the children as if they were her own flesh and blood. Caroline finally got to get a hug in, and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, “We missed you so Marlena, I can’t tell you how good it is to see you here and well. The children have asked about you every day. Shawn wanted to come to see you too, but we had no one to tend the bar, I’m sure he’ll be by tomorrow.” holding Marlena's hands, she squeezed them lightly, love and tears in her eyes.

“Oh Caroline, please don’t cry, I have missed you all and the children most especially. I can’t thank you enough for taking such good care of them, I know I never have to worry when they are with you.” seeing her crying brought tears to her eyes, she was genuinely thankful for her help.

“Now dear, I am going to take them back with me tonight, I believe that you need a few days to recuperate, and I know you will be spending a lot of time at the hospital. I will bring the children over nightly, along with supper so you can spend time with them as well.” Caroline sat down, taking the big bag in her hands, her eyes never leaving Marlena’s figure, she was so happy seeing her home again, seeing the kids this happy.  

“What would I do without you, Caroline?” Marlena hugged her former mother in law tightly and kissed her cheek, her eyes sparkled when she looked at the kids; “Well something smells really good, shall we eat?”

 

They all sat and ate dinner with a lot of chatter and giggles from the children, It was music to Marlena’s ears and something she thought she might not have ever heard again. The normalcy of the evening struck her heart, and tears gather in the corners of her eyes.

 

After a heartbreaking goodbye, the children and Caroline were gone, Laura emerged from the kitchen with a pot of tea. She brought it over and sat it on the coffee table pouring herself and Marlena the hot beverage, “Here you go,” she said, handing Marlena a cup. “So, how are you feeling my friend?”

Taking the warm mug in her hands she snuggled on the sofa, closing her palms on the hot porcelain, the heat burned her hands a little, but she didn’t care, she needed it, she needed some kind of a reminder that she’s still alive, that this was not a dream.

“Well Laura, I feel a little lost. I’m so very thankful to be home, but everything is not as it should be. I don’t have John, and I don’t have my children with me. I’m not even sure that I could take care of them right now anyway, and that makes me feel like a huge failure. I want things to be as they were. I want my life back damn it!! That man had no right to take it from me! I want it back.” placing her mug on the coffee table, she stood up, striding to the balcony closed doors, her head rested against her palm, and she began to sob. Laura quickly got up and moved closer to her friend, wrapping her arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and brushing her hair back.

“Oh sweetie, you have every right to feel the way you do right now. That monster took so much from you, and he had no right to do so. Your hurt and anger are justified. I really think you should see someone honey, you need help with all of this.” Laura’s hands got up and swang wide to empathize with what she was saying. “I know a great lady, she and I interned together. Her name is Emma Snow, and she is a wonderful psychiatrist, she has her own pr, and she’s very discreet. I’ll call her tomorrow for you if you like.”

“Laura, thank you, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to anyone right now. I just need some time alone to sort things out... I need to figure out who I am now because I am certainly not the same woman I was before Kit took me away. I need some time....”She pulled away from her friend, leaving her to stand by the window, placing herself back on the couch.

“Marlena, what would you say to a patient that was going through what you have been through? I know what you’d say, you would tell her that she needs to talk about it and she needs help to heal and put her life back to a livable place. You need the same thing, sweetie, You need help.” something was calming about her voice, and of course she was right, but still, the emotional wounds were still so fresh in her mind and on her flesh. Even thinking about his face right now, shook her to her very core. “You May be right Laura, I do need help but I’m just not ready to talk about it now, and I’m not ready to accept help now. When the time comes I will see someone, and when that happens, I will gladly meet your Dr. Snow, but I’m not ready, not yet.”

Laura came closer, “oh sweetie, It’s just that I-”

“Laura...please...I know you mean well, but I just want to be alone right now, ok?” she wasn't even looking at her, her hazel orbs gazed at her hands on her lap.

 

“I’m sorry Marlena, I was just trying to help…. I can see that you are in pain. I’m not sure that you should be alone right now. You are worried about John and not even thinking about yourself, then there’s the baby... My god, you have too much to deal with on your own right now. Please let me help you. I will sleep in the guest room and not even make a sound, I’ll just be there if you need me.” she sat herself down on the soft sofa, trying to catch Marlena’s eyes. Marlena reached over and took Laura’s hand in hers, squeezing, her eyes finally met Laura’s .”Laura, you are the very best friend that I have ever had, and if I wanted anyone to stay with me, it would be you. I know you love me and have only my best interests at heart, but I just need a little time alone, and I need for you to understand that. I promise that I will call you if I need anything at all. Now please... go home, I promise to call you tomorrow.”

Laura opened her mouth to protest, but Marlena squeezed her hand to stop her. “Please my friend, I need to have a little while alone to sorts things out.”

 

“Ok, I guess I have no choice,” Laura answered, “but you must call me if you need anything at all, any time of night. Do you hear me?” Laura stood up, Marlena followed.

“Yes sweetie, I hear you.” she offered her a small smile, just to ease her mind some.

The two ladies walked to the door and hugged tightly, “thank you” she whispered in Laura’s ear before releasing her and closing the door behind her.

 

Locking the door, Marlena set the alarm and walked up the stairs to her bedroom, she was exhausted and hoped that she’ll be able to sleep tonight, her mind was troubled.

Walking into the room she shared with John just months earlier was harder than she had thought it would be. He was everywhere. The clothes he discarded, probably while getting ready to come after her, were strewn about the room. She reached down and picked up a shirt and brought it to her face, breathing in his scent that still lingered there. Marlena pulled her shirt off over her head, discarding it along with her bra and pants and pulled John’s shirt to sleep in.
Turning, she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror and froze. Walking closer she opened the shirt’s little buttons, looking at the bruises that covered her breasts, stomach and along her arms. The bruising around her wrist and ankles were still very deep angry purple marks. Her mind filled with thoughts of how those bruises came to be and she undressed completely, turning her back to the big mirror, placing her hand back as far as it would reach, touching the bandage that covered the ‘K’, Kit had carved into her flesh. There were parts of her completely untouched. Until he came along and left his mark on every inch of her. Shaking her head to will her mind to clear, she didn’t want to cry again right now, she just wanted to lay down and sleep, a dreamless sleep without demons haunting her.

The ‘K’, on her back, was so intense that it scared her, made her sick. She ran to the bathroom, wretched and threw up in the toilet. As she flushed, a little alarm bell went off in the back of her mind—This isn’t healthy, you need to work this out, it said—and. She silenced it by vigorously brushing her teeth.

 

Oh, she thought, how I could use John’s big strong arms around me, holding me and whispering that everything would be ok. How he was there to keep her safe and that no one could ever touch her again.

 

Leaving the bathroom, Marlena picked up the garment from the floor, wearing it once more, and buttoned up John’s shirt while walking over to the bed and sliding in between the sheets. Marlena deposited herself onto the bed and cried until she had no tears left and could no longer feel. She was exhausted. Exhausted from trying to be stronger than she felt, if only her heart was as cold as she pretended it was nowadays, maybe she could have gotten over this, except it wasn't, and she didn’t.

She was broken, it was time to admit it, he broke her, he broke her body, her soul, her spirit.

Have you ever broke down sobbing after so long of being strong? Crumbled on the bed, hands by her face. Her face raised up and she let out that first gasp. She tried to be quiet but ultimately, it became loud heart-wrenching sobs. She cried and cried, so much she couldn't breathe. "Why?”  she sobbed, trying to gasp breaths in between. Eventually, she completely collapsed on the bed after and she just laid there, numb. After a while, she fell asleep.

 

Marlena’s slumber suddenly turned restless.

She was walking down a long corridor, it was dark. There was a door to her right and one to her left, and she had to choose one. One door will mean happiness, safety, and love. The other will lead to the depths of hell, despair, and pain.

Her heart was filled with fear as her hand reached for the door to her right. With shaky fingers she slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open, the light was low coming through the bay window to the left. She could see a big chair by the window with a table beside. A book was lying face up, the title was visible, “The Tale of Two Cities.”

The book she last read at Maison Blanche.

Looking to her right she could see a big bed covered in Mosquito netting, it was sheer, and she could make out the shadowy figure of a man. His hand was raised, and he beckoned her to come closer. Her feet were frozen in place as fear washed over her once again. Not willing to walk to the bed, she could feel her body moving forward against her will as if floating across the floor. Once beside the bed, the sheer fabric parted, and a masculine hand reached out and took hers.

Suddenly the fear was gone, and a warm feeling took its place. Marlena leaned forward and saw the face of her dreams, deep blue eyes penetrating her hazel orbs. A smile broke across her face as she slid onto the bed and into the embrace of her soulmate and love of her life.

“John, oh John, I thought I’d never see you again. I was so scared baby, I needed you.” she sat on the soft bed, her hand is still in his, he raised his finger and put it against her lips, “Shhh Baby, I’m here now, I love you, and I want to make love to you now. I’ve missed you so.” John pulled her to his chest when she stopped him, “No, John, we have to get out of here, he’s crazy. He thinks I belong to him, he’ll kill you.”

John pushed Marlena back against the mattress pinning her hands above her head. His mouth descended on hers in a passionate kiss, sucking her tongue into his mouth. She moaned as the feeling overtakes her, her body was on fire for him.

“John, Baby, I want you too, but please let’s get out of here first.”

Suddenly she felt as her nightgown was ripped from her body and his hand grabbed her breast, squeezing hard and pinching her nipple painfully.

“There is no John Princess, there is only KIt. There will never be anyone else, I OWN YOU!... You are mine Kitten.”

Marlena’s eyes grow wider with fear as suddenly it was Kit’s face looming above her.

He grabbed her between the legs, hissing “you belong to me.” Squeezing her “this is mine, do you hear me!!?” he growled.

 

"NO!!!" Marlena woke with a start, sitting straight up in her bed, Sweat covered her body, and she was trembling.

Taking a deep breath, she looked around the still dark room, yes, it was only a dream, she was home. she was able to see the sky beyond the sheer curtain, it was morning, but it was very early. Exhaling, she leaned back on the headboard, taking a few deep breaths.

 

Suddenly, a familiar sound caught her ear, she sharply turned her head to the side, looking at the oak bedroom door. What she saw next frighten her to no end. The doorknob was moving, and the door began to open up slightly, she was not alone.