“John?”, Marlena called as she walked through the  penthouse door, “are you here?” Not getting an answer right away, she started to prepare their meal. She set the table out on the terrace as the smell began to waft from the kitchen. This one used to be his all-time favorite; she hoped it still was. Lastly, she prepared the strawberries and whipped cream, placing it in the refrigerator to cool. Walking out of the kitchen, she spied John coming down the stairs; his hair was wet, the smell of a fresh shower, intoxicated her senses.

“What smells so good?’, he asked as he walked toward the kitchen.

“Besides you?”, She responded, “I’m preparing your favorite for dinner. I thought we would eat out on the terrace.”

“Oh, I have a favorite?, besides you I mean.”

“Come on John, let’s eat shall we?” She rolled her eyes with a grin and headed back into the kitchen to bring out the entrée.

 

“So, this is my favorite, huh baby? I do like it; it tastes almost as good as you do.” he leaned back to his seat, placing his fork to the table. “John, do you think we could talk seriously for a minute? I would like to know if this brings up any memories for you. Do you remember having dinner out here with me before?” always hopeful. Her mind went back to 1986, to the supper he had set up for both of them and how excited she was to realize he remembered something, even if it was a tiny detail. Tiny details gave her hope.

“Oh baby, do we have to do this now? How about we enjoy our meal and maybe an extra special dessert”. John raised one eyebrow and waggled it as a wicked smile spread across his face. “I have some fun after dinner activities in mind if you know what I mean?”

Talking was dangerous; talking would lead to many questions he had no answers too; nevertheless, talking would make him remember Dr. Snow’s words. He needed to get to the bottom of it, but he was tired of fighting.

“Yes, John, I know exactly what you mean, but I would like to have a true conversation with you that doesn’t revolve around, ‘extracurricular activities’... may we please focus here?”

Her voice was somewhat strain, but she was trying to keep it together, this was supposed to be a nice quiet evening.

“Ok doll, I’ll play nice. What do you have in mind?”

“Well I’ve prepared our favorite dessert, and I thought we could enjoy it in the living room by the fireplace. I know it not cold enough, but a cozy fire seems kinda romantic, don’t you think?” she cheered.

“Oh, I’m all about the romance thing baby. Let’s start that now.”

 

She brought the strawberries and whipped cream out as John lite the fireplace. She sat the tray on the coffee table, and they sat on the floor opposite each other. Taking a strawberry, she dipped it in whipped cream and brought it to John’s mouth. He sucked the whole strawberry into his mouth, crewing while staring into her hazel eyes. She tried not to be disappointed and swallowed hard as he picked up a fresh strawberry. Dipping it in whipped cream, he slowly brought it to her mouth. Marlena closed her eyes as her mouth opened to accept the sweet treat, she bit half, leaving some whipped cream on her lips as she chewed slowly, licking her lips and stared into his eyes. Leaning forward she pulled John’s face toward her, offering her lips for a sensual kiss. She had hoped to spark a memory as she licked at his lips, but she was also moved by her own memory of them together this way.

“Oh Baby, you sure know how to serve dessert, how about we take this whipped cream party upstairs.” He winked and licked his lips.

“John, does this remind you of anything? Do you recall every sharing strawberries and whipped cream with me before?” no could have missed the hope in her voice.

“Well, no, but I do like where this is going baby girl, can I feed you another?”

“You mean, May I….”

“What now?”

“Never mind. Go ahead. baby”

 

John stood up and walked to where she was seated. He took her hand, pulling her to her feet. “Baby, I want you, I have been looking at you in the tight sexy white dress all night. I mean, the way it hugs your curves and those beautiful breast peeking over the top….wow... it gives a man ideas. You know what I mean?” he stepped behind her, looking her up and down, hunger in his eyes. His hands went to her waist as he pulled her back against himself.

She could feel the evidence of his excitement pressed against her lower back and her breath caught in her throat. His hands came around to her stomach and worked their way up her waist to her breasts. He squeezed lightly as he whispered in her ear, “God baby, you have the most beautiful body, you are so soft yet firm. Your skin is like silk. I could spend forever exploring and kissing your body.”

“What’s stopping you, sailor.” she breathed the words in a whisper against his cheek, lost in the moment and the memories the evening evoked.

John’s hands cupped her breast as his lips started spreading kisses down her neck, and back up to her ear. The sensation was so familiar, and her knees had gotten weak. It was like having ‘her John’ back, just the way it used to be.

“John, make love to me,” she whispered.

“My pleasure baby.” John’s fingers started undoing the buttons of her dress as he caressed her exposed flesh, kissing and nibbling her neck. “Damn baby, you are so fucking hot.”

John’s hand traveled up her inner thigh until he met the edge of her panties, slipping the lace fabric aside his fingers slide in. He pushed two fingers into her dripping center as his thumb circled her clit.

“Oh John,” she moaned, “I want you.”

He pulled her back against his raging hard-on, pushing her forward till she was bent over the couch, he pulled the thin lace of her thong until it snapped, throwing it aside he pushed her dress up around her hips. His fingers continued to work her wet hot pussy; he could feel her inner walls contracting. Dropping to his knees, he started to tongue her center from behind, licking and lapping as her juices flowed freely. His skilled fingers work feverishly in and out of her tight wet center, savoring her moans.

She breathed his name as her ass pushed back against his mouth and fingers.

“Oh, god John… oh,, baby, I need to feel you inside me, now.” she mewled, pivoting her head slightly to the back. He stood back up and leaned over her, with his mouth close to her ear he said. “Are you going to scream for me, Marlena?”

 

It was like someone threw cold water on her warm flesh. Marlena’s head jerked up, and she yelled, “STOP! John, stop now. Don’t touch me.” she straightened up, pulling her the fabric of her dress down, buttoning her dress.

He stood quietly looking confused and somewhat pissed. “What the hell baby girl, why did you put the breaks on? You were just begging me to fuck you.”

“No, John I wanted you to make love to me, something you seem incapable of. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t make love to a stranger, and you are doing nothing to try and change that.”

“Its... It’s him again, right? It’s that Kit person, isn't it? Well, don’t you think that it’s fucked up that I can’t even fuck my fiance properly?” he raged

The world spun and she started losing control of her emotions. Knowing that she couldn’t hold back the tears much longer. Not wanting John to see her crying, she headed for the door grabbing her purse and keys as she reached for the door handle, completely ignoring his question. He came from behind her and grabbed her hand, stopping her exit. Slamming the door shut again and turned her around facing him, roughly pushing her back against the door.

 

(Control-Puddle of Mudd)

 

“Oh no, sweetheart, you don’t get to cock tease me, then just fly out of here like your panties are on fire. That man won’t keep us from finishing this, now, come on, we are going to finish what you started with your little strawberry seduction.” he shoved her hard against the wooden door while pushing her dress up her waist once again.

“John! Stop this now! Don’t you dare!.”

“I don't give a fuck what you agree to honey, you started this, and I’m going to finish it, now wrap those long sexy legs around my waist and let’s get this show on the road.” his big hands never leaving her body.

It felt wrong.

It felt right.

It felt wrong. This was not the man she knew and loved; this was a nightmare.

“No John! Let go of me this instant!”

He held her hands above her head with one hand as he unzipped his pants and pushed them down with the other.

 

Marlena gasped as she felt his hard cock against her thigh. In one swift motion, he pushed her dress up, pulling it up around her waist keeping her hands pinned to the door above her head. She struggled, but it was useless, he was so strong. “I’m going to fuck you good baby, just the way you like it,” his mouth covered hers as he pushed his tongue inside, twirling it around hers then sucking her tongue into his mouth. “You like it rough, huh baby...Yes...you love the dirty things I do” Squeezing her ass painfully with one of his freed hands, grinding against her. In spite of herself, she couldn't help but feel aroused by his hands and mouth on her tender flesh. Continuously, she tried to protest, but as John dropped her hands and placed his hard cock at her entrance pushing the head into her wet folds, her protests turned to moans. She hated herself for her weakness against him.

 

“Oh yeah baby, that’s right, open up for daddy.” He pushed all the way in filling her to the hilt, leaving her gasping at his invasion.

“Oh god,” she moaned as her legs involuntary wrapped tightly around his waist, and her heels pushed his ass to her body, driving him deeper inside of her. He palmed her ass cheeks, pulling her forcefully against his cock as he rammed in and out of her while sucking and biting the soft flesh of her neck. Dropping his head, he licked and sucked the tops of her breast and sucked her nipple through the fabric of her dress. Her head fell back as her nails racked into his neck and back. “Oh, Goooood...yes fuck me harder...” Marlena could feel herself losing all control. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t deny her carnal need to be fucked hard and long by this beautiful man even though he was not himself.

Grabbing both her breasts, he pushed her cleavage up over the top of her dress and buried his face in her softness, kissing, licking and sucking her hot flesh. She bit her bottom lip, trying to stifle a scream as her orgasm began to build. Her fingers tangled in John’s hair as she pushed her chest into his warm mouth. One of his hands slid between her thighs, finding her clit and rubbed vigorously. He head pushed hard against the hard surface behind her as she started panting and chant his name over and over. Her body tightened around him, and the walls of her center clamped down on his thick cock.

“Oh baby yes, you like the way I fuck you don’t you. Tell me how you never want me to stop. Tell me, baby. Tell me that you belong to me, this pussy is mine.” he gritted his teeth against her neck, “Oh god Johnnn….”

He slammed into her harder and harder as her hips pounded against the door. She exploded around him as he shoved himself all the way in, emptying himself deep inside of her. They stood there wrapped up in each other’s arm, her head fell forward, resting on his chest as she tried to catch her breath. “You are a damn fine fuck, baby,” he said as he let her slide slowly off of him. This was not right; this was not what she had planned for tonight. How could he? How could he take her and talk to her as that fucked up psycho once did? Moreover, how could she have let it all happen? She was mortified.

 

Shamly, she pushed her dress down and raised her hand, bringing it hard across his face.

“Fuck you,” she screamed as she picked her purse and keys up off the floor grabbing her shoes as she went.

“Wha-? Marlena!”

“Go to hell.” Slamming out the door, she ran to the elevator as the dam broke and tears started to pour down her face. He pulled up his pants and looked around for his shirt, finding it he pulled it on along with his shoes. Grabbing his own set of keys, he darted out just in time to see the elevator doors closing behind her.

“Doc!” he yelled as she disappeared inside.

 

Why did I call her, Doc? He wondered.

 

***********

 

She couldn't see the road ahead. Big tears poured down her rosy cheeks while she was trying to get it together, enough was enough. She loved him, she has never stopped loving him but was this-him? Was this ridiculously sexy man at her penthouse, the love of her life? She wasn’t sure anymore. All she knew, was that this man wasn't John. She did all in her power to help him, guide him back to health and helping him get his memory back. But this wasn't working anymore, and she had to run away, she had to.

Her mind felt like it was floating in mid-air and all she knew was that she needed to talk. It was late and quiet, the road was clear of interruptions, just her and the wind. Without overthinking, she called her. She needed to talk, she needed to cry and knowing Laura was out of town, made Emma the best person to fill up this role.

“Marlena, are you alright?” although the late hour, she sounded well rested

“Emma, I’m so sorry for calling you this late..but John and I had a fight, and I’m driving around for the past 30 minutes and I-”

“Come on over.” she cut her, “I’m out at the pool. The back gate is open” her voice was already calming her down.

 

The big white villa was beautifully lit, and Marlena could see the glowing blue water of the pool from a distance, getting closer to the back gate, she took off her high heels, the soft grass caressed her bare feet as she walked, it was wet. Although the hour was late, the humidity was still very high and the wet grass stuck to her ankles as she walked.

Taking in the beauty of her doctor’s backyard, her eyes got a glance of the woman at the water, she was swimming, and the sound of the water instantly eased her mind. Marlena stopped, she took a deep breath, thinking of what to say, how to say, tonight she felt like something inside of her just shuddered, she was afraid it was her patience and her heart, probably her heart.  

The woman at the pool swam to the edge and placed herself on to the flat white marble surface around the pool, “I’m glad you came” she spoke through heavy breathing, causing Marlena to jump with surprise and open her eyes.

“Oh, Emma” she smiled, “I’m sorry, I got distracted...you’ve got a beautiful house..” getting closer to the side of the pool she merely stood there, looking around her. Emma was still seated by the pool, her black-gold bikini showed off a slim figure.

“And I’m sorry for interrupting you and your family so late..” her hands closed around her chest.

“I live alone” Emma’s voice was loud and clear, as though she was trying to make a point.

 

The blond beauty stood there, her bare feet rooted to the marble tiles, she felt like she forgot what to do with her hands, what to say. She was lost, and Emma could sense it.

“Marlena” she started, “there’s a wonderful Merlot over there at the table, would you mind bringing us a glass of wine, I could use a drink, I believe I earned it” she giggled, and for the first time tonight, Marlena smiled. Her smile was beaming, it was the most beautiful smile she has ever seen. Emma loved the way her eyes sparkled when she did, how the small freckles at her nose danced. She was stunning. Looking at her as she turned to bring the big black bottle, she took in her beauty. Her short white dress complimented her toned figure, and she couldn’t wait for her to turn around, and come back so she could see her perfect face once more.

 

Emma had shifted her black hair behind her ears. “Come on, have a seat” She looked down to the marble floor in front of her. Handing her the full wine glass, Marlena took a seat, putting her legs into the warm pool water.

 

The stereo was still on, and Emma lifted her head, with the need to find the remote. “Marlena I’m sorry, I can't seem to find the remote. Are you ok with the music keep on playing?”

Marlena nodded and took the rim of the wine bottle into her mouth, taking a long sip.

 

She sat on the stone floor, right next to her doctor, leaning forward, and chewing her bottom lip. Emma narrowed her eyes at her. “You sounded very upset on the phone, more upset than I’ve heard you sound in a while. Do you want to talk about the fight?” Emma began.

“I just can't keep on living like this” she started, her reaction was quick, like she was waiting for someone to ask her what was going through her mind, to listen to her words and care for their meaning. Taking yet another sip, she continued, “It’s just more of the same... he doesn’t seem to want to even try. I feel as if I’m the only one trying to get this relationship on track. He won’t even go to the therapist...I miss my Fiancé. Oh, I know that sounds odd, I mean he is right there at the house with me, but he’s not... Am I making any sense at all?” she closed her eyes, letting the first tears fall.

When she finally opened them again, she saw Emma’s big eyes, looking at her with tenderness and so much compassion, Marlena smiled back. She was glad she had found an understanding shoulder to cry on tonight. Her mind went back to earlier that evening. How he slammed the door from behind, wouldn’t let her leave. How he took her with all of his strength against the oak door, not caring if she wanted him or not. And she loved it. Why did she love it that much? What was wrong with her? The last time she was treated that roughly was at the hands of Kit.

Shaking her head, she still saw Emma’s sweet smile, “Yes, I fully understand what you’re saying. You want your life back... and there’s nothing wrong about that….” she raised her hand to brush a stray tear from Marlena's cheek, “Go on.” Emma whispered as she let her hand drop to the floor, very close to Marlena’s bare hips.

 

“Tonight after we began to fight I let him fuck me against the door, very roughly... I even got off on it. What is wrong with me? Why would I let him treat me that way?... The way that *HE* did...”placing her palms to her face, she covered her eyes. It was quiet, and all that Emma could hear were her shallow sobs and the sound of the slow music. (“Constant Craving”/ cover)

She knew who she was talking about. Kit. Hearing her saying these words, filled her heart with need. The need to take her in her arms, to make the pain go away, to make her feel loved, that was all she ever wanted. Taking a deep breath, she watched as the beauty in front of her whipped away her tears with the back of her long fingers. The word ‘Fuck’ echoed in Emma's head, Marlena was not the one to talk like that. Usually, it was the alcohol talking, but she was happy that Marlena was able to word her feelings.

Emma couldn't help but swipe her eyes over Marlena’s body once again, her full soft breasts peeked from the cleavage of her white dress, and her long toned legs moved slowly in the water. Her eyes came back up to her beautiful face and soft kissable lips. She felt the need. She felt the craving, and she did her best not to move, not to touch her. Don’t touch her, Emma, don’t touch her, don’t...

 

“John has always known just how and where to touch me to make me totally come undone,” she started again after a long pause, her eyes glowed when she spoke of him, they always have, “he knew me and understood me like no one ever had. He knew my heart, my soul. He knew exactly how to set me off, and how to calm me down. I could never stay mad at him for very long, and oh, could that man make me laugh” Marlena smiled, almost to herself. It was a tiny smile, the one you give to an acquaintance on the street, but by god, even this little curve on her face beamed like no other.

Emma observed as Marlena’s eyes lite up at the thought of him as a twinge of unfounded jealousy crept in.

“Oh, listen to me” Marlena chuckled, ”talking about him as if he’s dead. What’s wrong with me? I should be rejoicing at the fact that he is alive and awake and out of the hospital. Not wallowing in self-pity, I have so much to be thankful for.” her smile faded.

 

It had been only about an hour since they'd been talking, and Emma couldn't stop thinking about how she looked like in the moonlight. She wanted desperately to touch Marlena and feel her responding to that touch. She wanted to hear Marlena moaning and gasping in ecstasy. The thought drove Emma mad with desire; she didn't think she could stand to wait another minute but she had to try, she had to.

 

“You listen to me Marlena, what you are feeling right now is not self-pity. You have every right to feel this way. Your life was turned upside down by a madman, it was never your choice, KIt took that choice away from you. He also took the love of your life away, oh, he is still here in body only, but you are indeed alone. You no longer have the support of your partner, and even though you know, it wasn’t his choice he is still not there for you. You are raising three young children and trying to balance your career while still trying to help John. It’s enough to drive anyone crazy, excuse the term.” Emma smiled at her trying to light the mood and possibly see her beautiful smile in return.

Marlena gave an attempt at a half smile before tears started to form again at the corners of her eyes. Reaching up, Emma wiped away yet another stray tear that had begun to fall. She clasped Marlena’s hand as it sat on her lap. She could resist it no more. Looking down at her lap, Marlena could feel the warms of her doctor’s touch, her hand was somewhat wet but not enough to stain her dress. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a split second, she was thankful for having a friend tonight.

 

“Marlena, I want you to try and not be so hard on yourself. You are human, and as such, you needed to feel loved, safe and cared for. Just know that, and the feelings you are having are justified. My god baby, you have been through hell over this past months, and none of it was your fault. You never ask for or ever deserved any of this. You are a kind and loving woman. It’s obvious that you truly care about those whom you welcome into your life and they are so lucky to have you. So maybe you should lean on some of them for once, they want to help you, and you need to realize that not only do you need their help, you deserve it. People care for you, your family, your friends, John, even though he may not remember you at the moment... and me. I care, Marlena, I care more than you know.”

Marlena looked up through wet lashes looking so vulnerable and so breathtakingly beautiful, it was all Emma could do not to take her face in her hands and kiss her deeply and endlessly until her tears stop flowing. Her heart broke for this sensitive soul beside her.

Her tears washed over her cheeks, falling from her chin and dying on the swell of her breasts.

“I don’t know who I am anymore...I used to have the answers to everything...he took so much from me...he took my ability to relax, to trust, to feel…”

 

Emma’s hand settled on the floor, even closer to her hips than before, as she shifted Marlena’s golden hair to the back. It was the most tender way Marlena had been touched in a while, since the day John saved her from that madhouse when he kissed her on the floor and promised her forever.

Emma’s fingers caressed Marlena’s cheek, wiping away her tears, stopping at the corner of her mouth, her eyes couldn't leave her lips, her luscious, pink lips, nor she wanted to.

Her other hand took the wine bottle from Marlena’s hand, and the blonde beauty shivered when she felt her fingers on top of hers when she did so.

 

Emma noticed the change of atmosphere but it seemed that Marlena wasn’t aware of the new vibe in the yard. Tearing her hands from the blond lady, she slid herself back into the water, she needed to cool herself down, get herself together. Marlena tilted her head down and looked up at her through her lashes,  unintentionally lighting Emma’s nerves with a welcome desire. God, why did she have this effect on her? Emma crossed her arms in the water, tucking her hands away so she won’t see them trembling with need.

 

“What do you think that you should do now?” Emma asked. “I don't know..I don't know...I tried everything that I know.. I just feel so confused and so...so lost. I need him back, I've been through hell and back...and I need ...I need to feel loved...I need to be touched, held, kissed by someone who loved me” Her voice sounded like a wounded animal, she sobbed and took yet another sip.

“You know.” Emma started, getting closer to her legs in the water,  her face burned hot with lust, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted to let her know, to make her feel like she deserved to feel, to feel loved again. “I know things seem awful at the moment, but you know the saying, It's always darkest before the dawn”. She gently rubbed her palms back and forth on her knees, almost not really touching her, Causing Marlena to lift her head and look into her big deer eyes of hers.

Marlena’s vision was blurry again, the tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.