(Mad World)

Slowly, without a word, Marlena walked back into her office, closing the door behind her, she leaned on it. Standing there looking at him with hooded eyes and wet cheeks, she seemed lost. Sawyer stood up, not fully understand what was happening. Last time he saw her, was when he kissed her, but now she was back in the same room with him. His mind couldn't process another thought as he quietly paced toward her, not asking her why not caring for her reasons. He was drawn to her like a moth to the flame, his peripheral vision foggy, blurry, and his eyes were focused on her alone. On how her black mini dress hugged the curves of her body, the way her blond hair disheveled behind her head as she leaned against the white door.  

 

Striding, he got closer and closer, there was hunger in his eyes, and he wasn’t afraid of showing it. His eyes fixated on her hazel pools, she didn’t move, but he could see the rise and fall of her breasts as her breathing quickened.

Damn.

It made him wild.

Her lips parted as if she was trying to catch her breath or to say something, when in fact, she didn’t want to talk. Not right now.

When he was close enough, Sawyer stopped, taking the time to look at her, to be aware that he was heavily breathing too. His eyes roamed her body, the small moan that escaped her lips made his member twitch in his pants.

Damn. She was hot.

 

She felt his hand sliding under her chin, and the warmth could have been welcoming if she didn’t think she wasn’t supposed to be there right now. No. She was supposed to be home, drinking tea, sobbing for the loss of her patient, but he was happy that she was. Looking into her eyes, he lowered his hand and placed it on the base of her throat. Lowering it, he traced her collarbone until his finger made contact with the thin fabric of her dress, she let out a low moan as he shifted it to the side, exposing her left nipple, just as he did before. His warm palm covering her breast, made her eyes shut. She trembled, her breathing quickened as he revealed her left nipple to the night's air. The cold air froze her nipples, until he sat his warm mouth on one, his fingers on the other. It was a dark kind of heaven.
Sawyer breathed, his hand traveling back down the curve of her spine to the rear of her thigh. With one quick tug, he pulled her leg up to rest against his hip, cupping her ass, pressing her to the door. He stared into her eyes desperately.

 

Their eyes connected, and his gaze dropped to her lips. Oh God, he was never gonna be able to stop this now. His lips parted, and they slowly started lowering to hers. Marlena held her breath, and as their lips brushed, only very lightly, her body gave way. He growled as he moved his hand lower to the curve of her ass and pushed her body closer to his, not feeling any undergarment, oh god, was she...naked underneath her dress the whole time?

 

Their lips hovered over each other’s, their breaths mingling as she shook uncontrollably. Without uttering a word he inhaled, running his lips across her cheek to her ear. Thinking of saying something, he didn’t want to do anything to break the spell she was under, so he kept it to himself.  Her short, gasping breath was unrecognizable. Sawyer couldn’t fight this anymore. His head was prompting her head to turn out to the side, hovering her lips again, and then his lips were on hers. She moaned, accepting his hard mouth. Crashing his lips against hers, robbing her of breath. His tongue skimmed her bottom lip, seeking entry, and she didn’t deny him. She accepted him into her mouth, their tongues dueling, his mouth hot, his tongue soft but severe.

 

She broke the kiss, and he stirred, his arm tightening around her back. “Marlena?...” This time she answered him the way she couldn’t before.

“I want to forget,” she breathed into his mouth. “Make me forget.”

 

“Oh, Marlena.” He rolled into her, his fingers playing with the hem of her dress.

He stared at her, breathing hard with brazen hunger shining from his green pools. His hand grazed her knee before slowly running up her thighs, settling just beneath the material of her dress as he leaned forward, softly kissing her. Her lips taste salty, like her tears. His left hand found a home on her hip, holding her there, while his right grazed the spot between her thighs, slipping beneath the fabric of her dress to stroke her clit. She moaned into his mouth, kissing him hungrily, her fingers running through his hair. She was warm, and slick, his fingers caressing her before sliding right in. Her hips shifted as she ground on the wooden surface behind her, seeking more friction. He happily gave it to her.

 

"That's it," he told her as she fucked his fingers, his thumb stroking her clit every time she moved. "Take what you want from me."

She whimpered, her eyes closed, her pace increasing. "Mmmmm."

"What?" he asked, his lips finding her neck. "Tell me what you want."

"I don’t know..." she whispered, her voice strained. "...but don’t stop....oh god...don't stop..."

He smiled against her skin, nipping at her throat when she tilted her head back. "I'm right here, angel, and I'll give you anything you want." Her breath hitched when his thumb pressed harder, rubbing her clit faster.

She was getting close.

 

The friction was getting too much for her, and she tilted her head to the left, trying to move her face and shift her body from his quick fingers and eager mouth. He noticed it, not letting her break contact, he inserted his muscular index finger into her mouth, finding the hot inner side of her cheek, he curved his finger into a fish hook and brought her mouth back to him and crashed his hungry lips onto hers, stealing the moan she released right into his mouth.

 

His lips wrapped around her nipple, his cheeks hollowing slowly, his seduction subdued. The tender suckling felt so good she gasped and arched into his mouth. He caressed her side from breast to hip and back again, over and over, gentling her as her heart raced wildly. He kissed across her chest to the other breast, murmuring words of need in a voice broken by misery. His tongue lapped at the hardened point, worrying it, before surrounding it with wet heat and suction.

 

“Sawyer.” desire ran through her skittish mind. Her body tensed for a minute, she was lost,  although her body greedily sought the pleasure of his touch.

“Don’t be afraid of me,” he whispered. “Don’t pull away.” He kissed her navel and then moved lower, his hair caressing her stomach as he settled on his knees between her legs. He held her open with shaking hands and nuzzled her clit. His light, teasing licks through her slit and the fluttering dips into her trembling center took her to the edge of insanity. Her back bowed. Hoarse pleas left her lips. Tension spread through her body, tightening everything until she felt like she might snap under the pressure. And then he pushed her into orgasm with the softest nudge of the tip of his tongue. Marlena cried out, heated relief pulsing through her writhing body.

 

“Oh yes, Marlena.” Sawyer levered over her as she vibrated with pleasure. “Yes.” Brushing away the sweat tracked from his face, she stared into his reddened eyes.

“I need you, angel...It has been a while since I needed anyone”, muttering as he stood up, staring at her, watching how her body relaxed once more. He took himself in hand and fed his cock slowly, carefully into her. Her head pressed hard into the door as he sank deeper, possessing her body one thick inch at a time. When she’d taken all of him, cupping her ass, he began to move in measured, deliberate thrusts. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Then he held her tight, his stomach pressed to hers, and her pulse leaped with panic. Abruptly frightened, She hesitated, this was wrong.

 

Noticing it, he growled, “Look at me, Marlena.” His voice was so hoarse it was unrecognizable. She did and saw his anguish. “hold me,” he begged in a breathless whisper. “Touch me, angel. Put your hands on me.”

Her palms pressed flat to his back, then stroked over the quivering muscles to his ass. Squeezing the hard, flexing flesh, she urged him to move faster, plunge deeper. The rhythmic strokes of his heavy cock through the clenching depths of her center pushed ecstasy through her in heated waves. It felt so good. Her legs wrapped around his plunging hips, her breath quickening as the cold knot inside her began to melt. Their gazes held. Tears coursed down her temples.

“touch me...Please ...” she sobbed
His eyes squeezed shut.

Rubbing viciously around her clit, with the skilled rolling of his fingers, stirring his cock inside her. Her pussy clenched tightly, trying to hold him, trying to keep him deep in her.

 

“Come, Marlena,” he gasped against her throat. She struggled for it, struggled to get past the lingering apprehension that came from having him against her. The anxiety mingled with the desire, keeping her on edge. He made a hoarse sound filled with pain and regret. “I Need you to come, Marlena . . . need to feel you . . . Please . . .” Cupping her buttocks, he angled her hips and stroked over and over that sensitive spot inside her. He was tireless, relentless, fucking her long and hard until her mind lost control of her body and she came violently.

 

She bit his shoulder to stem her cries as she shook against him, the tiny muscles inside her trembling with ecstatic ripples. He groaned deep in his chest, a serrated sound of tormented pleasure.

“that's it...come for me....yes.” he ordered, deepening his drives to give her that delectable bite of soreness. Marlena came again, ferociously, her toes curling until they cramped. She felt the familiar tension grip Sawyer and tightened her grasp on his back, spurring him on, desperate to feel him spurting inside her.

 

“Stop”, she suddenly pushed him away and he was delirious with desire that he wasn't even able to form a question. Marlena fell to her feet back to the ground, he stared at her, shocked. Turning him to lean against the door, he had thrown an arm over his eyes. His chest heaved and glistened with sweat. His cock stood heavily, she kneeled and dove for it with hands and mouth, ignoring his wondering looks. Pinning his pelvis with her palms, she pumped him hard with her other fist and sucked voraciously on the sensitive crown. His thighs quivered, his legs kicking restlessly. “Damn it, Marlena. Fuck.” He stiffened and gasped, his hands shoving into her hair, his hips bucking. “Oh, fuck. Suck it hard . . . oh, God . . .” He exploded in a powerful rush that almost choked her, coming hard, flooding her throat and she took it all...

 

 

“Sawyer”
 

The man strained, his body twisting.
“Sawyer...Sawyer, wake up.” abruptly, he sat up, tense and expectant. His chest heaved with panting breaths. He noticed his cock was hard and he was happy he was wearing a loose shirt. Roman spoke firmly, “Sawyer. You’re dreaming. Wake up.”

“Roman ...?”

“Yeah, It’s me, what are you doing in Doc’s office so late at night?.” Shifting, Roman moved out of the way, standing up. He knew what happened to that girl in her office and he came over to investigate, but he wasn't expecting anyone there, let alone a sleeping ISA agent.

“Earth to Sawyer...Are you awake?” His breathing began to slow, but he didn’t speak. His hands were fisted. When he didn’t move, Roman laid a hand on his shoulder, “Sawyer?” He jerked awake.

“What? What is it?” he sat up straight with his hands on his sides. Roman saw him blink at him, then shoved both hands through his hair. He could tell he was dreaming and from the look on his face, it was a very intense dream. “What’s wrong?” he asked gruffly, “You okay?”

Sawyer shook his head, violently, realizing it was all a dream, “Marlena…” he murmured to himself, standing up on his own two feet.

“What?”

“Marlena” he repeated, louder this time, “I gotta talk to her, I’ll see ya around” striding out of her office he headed down towards the parking garage, he needed to drive to her place, he needed to apologize.

 

******

 

 

Marlena paced to her car. Her insides were raging, knowing she needed to say something to make Sawyer stop, but she just froze, at that point, she couldn’t think of anything. Her mind was elsewhere. It was with poor Jade, with John. She was a mess lately, but she’ll get it together, she had too. Taking the set of keys from her small pursed, she almost reached her car when she heard a noise. Footsteps.

Oh shit.

Fearing the worst, she quickly increased her speed, striding up to her car.

“Princess” a voice behind her stopped her on her tracks.

When she lifted her head and straightened, She found John standing in front of her. Startled, she stumbled back a step. He was so damn fine, he still put every other man in attendance to shame. The tremendous yearning she felt at the sight of him overwhelmed her, especially after what happened between them at the restaurant tonight. Distantly she was aware of the underground parking ceiling light, that was flickering in the corner of her eyes, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away from John, whose wildly blue eyes burned into her.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped, scowling.

“Excuse me?”

“You shouldn’t be here. You should be home, our home, what are you doing at work in the middle of the night?” He grabbed her by the elbow and started hauling her toward his big black jeep. “I don’t want you here Marlena, come with me.” Marlena yanked her arm free of him and walked briskly toward her car with her head held high, praying she could make it to the privacy of her vehicle before the tears started falling.

 

Behind her, she heard a voice calling out her name, and she sent up a prayer that he would decide just to leave her alone, go home and let her be. Tonight was too much. First his humiliating games at the bar, then finding Jade, the sweet girl she knew, dead at her office, then being kissed by her new partner, and now this? No, she needed to be left alone. She thought she just might make it when she was this close to her car.

“Marlena, wait.” her shoulders hunched at the sound of John’s voice and she refused to look at him.

“Leave me alone. I can show myself to my car.”

“I’m not done—”

“Well, I am!” she pivoted to face him. “You don’t get to talk to me that way. Who do you think you are? You think that coming over here tonight was a good idea? Do you? Do you think that touching me in a public place would make me forget all of your wild accusations? So let me tell you something, Mr. Black-”

“Shut up, Marlena.” His gaze was scorching hot, and his brutal words surprised her, his jaw was tight and hard, “Listen to me—”

“No, John, you listen to me, I’m only here because I needed to see Laura and I needed to do that because of you!  You wouldn’t stop calling me, you pull up stunts like you did tonight... I needed some time away from you to relax, to think. You don’t know who I am, you don’t care who I am! The only thing you seem to care about is your own selfish needs.”

“Shut your damn mouth.” He caught her by the elbows and shook her so hard her teeth snapped together. “Just shut up and let me talk.”

Marlena slapped him hard enough to turn his head.

 

“Don’t touch me.” With a growl, John hauled her into him and kissed her hard, bruising her lips. His hand was in her hair, fisting it roughly, holding her in place so she couldn’t turn away. She bit the tongue he thrust aggressively into her mouth, then his lower lip, tasting blood, but he didn’t stop. She shoved at his shoulders with everything she had, but she couldn’t budge him.

 

Goddamn John!

 

He kissed her as if he were starved for the taste of her, and her resistance began to melt. He smelled so good, so familiar. His body felt so perfectly right against hers. Her nipples betrayed her, hardening into tight points, and a slow, hot trickle of arousal gathered in her core. Her heart thundered in her chest. God, she wanted him. The craving hadn’t gone away, not even for a minute. He picked her up. Imprisoned by his tight grip, she had trouble breathing, and her head began to spin. When he carried her along the parking space, she couldn’t do more than make a feeble sound of protest. She found herself pressed against a massive wall right behind John’s car, John’s hard and powerful body subduing her own.

 

His arm at her waist slid lower, his hand delving beneath her dress and finding the curves of her butt exposed by her lacy red underwear. He wrenched her hips hard to his, making her feel how hard he was, how aroused. Her center trembled with want, achingly empty.

All the fight left her. Marlena’s arms fell to her sides, her palms pressing flat to the wall. She felt the brittle tension drain from his body as she softened in surrender, the pressure of his mouth easing and his kiss turning into a passionate coaxing.

 

“Marlena,” he breathed gruffly. “Don’t fight me. I can’t take it.” her eyes closed. “Let me go, John.” He nuzzled his cheek against hers, his breath gusting hard and fast over her ear.

“I can’t. I know you’re disgusted by what I said the other night . . . the way I acted—”

“John, no!” God. Did he think she left him because of that?

“That’s not why—”

“I’m losing my mind without you, princess.” His lips were gliding down her neck, his tongue stroking over her racing pulse. He sucked on her skin, and pleasure radiated through her. “I can’t think. I can’t sleep. My body ached for you. Let me try....” Tears slipped free and ran down her face.

They splashed on the upper swell of her breasts, and he licked at them, lapping them away. How would she ever recover if he made love to her again? How would she survive if he didn’t? “I never stopped wanting you,” she whispered. “I can’t stop. But you hurt me, John. You have the power to hurt me as no one else can.” His gaze was stark and confused on her face. “I think I know now...”

“You don’t even try to remember... You shut me out.” she cupped his face, needing him to understand this one thing without question. “Your past doesn’t have the power to push me away, your past was wonderful. Only you can do that, and you did.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” he rasped. “I never wanted you to leave me . . .”

“That’s the problem, John. If you don’t open up and try to remember your past, we’re going to lose each other down the road ... I’m barely surviving it now. I’ve crawled through the last four days of my life. Another week, a month . . . It’ll break me to give you up.”

 

“I can let you in, Marlena. I’m trying. But your first response when I screw up is to run away, to push me away.” His mouth was tender again as he brushed his lips back and forth over hers. Marlena didn’t argue with him. How could she, when he was right?

 

“I had hoped you’d come back on your own,” he murmured, “but I can’t stay away anymore, baby. I’ll carry you out of here if I have to. Whatever it takes to get you back in the same house with me.” Marlena’s heart stuttered. “I thought . . . I thought we were over, that you don't want to remember.” He pulled back, his face set in fierce lines. “We’ll never be over, Marlena.” she looked at him, her heart aching like an open wound at how beautiful he was, how broken and in pain he was—pain she’d caused to some degree. On tiptoes, she kissed the reddened handprint she’d left on his cheek, clutching his thick black hair in her hands.

 

John bent his knees to align their bodies, his breathing harsh and erratic. “I’ll do whatever you want, whatever you need. Anything. Just take me back.” Maybe she should have been scared by the depth of his need, but she felt the same passionate insanity for him. Running her hands down his chest to soothe his trembling, she gave him the hard truth. “We can’t seem to stop making each other miserable. I can’t keep doing this to you, and I can’t keep going through your crazy jealousy. You gotta go to a doctor.”

“I saw Dr. Snow on Friday when you were away. She was going to take me on as a patient, I figured if you can trust her, I can try.”

 

“Dr. Snow?” she didn’t remember she ever mentioned the fact that she was seeing someone, let alone the name of that physiatric. “Are you following me?...” His chest expanded on a deep breath.

 

 

He didn’t deny it, he knew she was seeing a shrink but he couldn't determine for what reason. She bit back her anger. She could only imagine how terrible it must be for him to be so dependent on something—someone—he couldn’t remember. What mattered most at that moment were his willingness to try and the fact that it wasn't just talking. He’d actually taken steps. “It’s going to be a lot of work, John,” she warned him.

 

“I’m not afraid of work.”

He was touching her restlessly, his hands sliding over her thighs and buttocks as if caressing her bare skin were as necessary to him as breathing.

“I’m only afraid of losing you.” she pressed her cheek to his. They completed each other. Even now, as his hands roamed possessively over her, she felt a thawing in her soul, the desperate relief of being held—finally—by the man who satisfied her deepest, most intimate desires.

 

 

“I need you.” His mouth was sliding over her cheek and down her throat. “I need to be inside you . . .”

“No. My God. Not here.” But her protest sounded weak even to her own ears. Marlena wanted him anywhere, anytime, anyway. . . .

 

“It has to be here,” he muttered, dropping to his knees. “It has to be now.” He chafed her skin ripping the lace of her panties away; then he shoved her dress to her waist and licked her slit, his tongue parting her folds to stroke over her throbbing clit. She gasped and tried to recoil, but there was nowhere to go. Not with the wall at her back and a grimly determined John in front, one hand keeping her pinned while the other lifted her left leg over his shoulder, opening her to his warm mouth. Her head thudding against the wall, heat pulsing through her blood from the point where his tongue was driving her mad. Her leg flexed against his back, urging him closer, her hands cupping his head to hold him still as she rocked into him, “Oh..John….fuck..”

 

Feeling the rough satin strands of his hair against her sensitive inner thighs was its own provocation, heightening her awareness of everything around her. They were underground at the hospital’s parking space, in the midst of a busy hospital attended by dozens of people, and he was on his knees, growling his hunger as he licked and sucked her slick, aching center.

She was feeling guilty, here she was, being licked and fingered in the middle of that parking lot while only twenty minutes ago, she shared a passionate kiss with Sawyer. She didn’t have the time to reflect on what happened, on why did she let it happen. Jade was gone, she was sad and he gave her comfort, that was probably it.

 

 

Somehow, he knew just how to get to her, knew what she liked and needed. He had an understanding of her nature that went above and beyond his incredible oral skills. The combination was addicting. Her body shook, her eyelids heavy from the illicit pleasure. “John ...You're gonna make me cum so hard.” His tongue rubbed over and over the clenching entrance to her body, teasing her, making her grind shamelessly into his working mouth. His hands cupped her bare butt, kneading, urging her onto his tongue as he thrust it inside her. There was reverence in the greedy way he enjoyed her, the unmistakable sense that he worshipped her body, that pleasuring it and taking pleasure from it was as vital to him as the blood in his veins. “Yes,” she hissed, feeling the orgasm building. She was buzzed by champagne and the heated scent of John’s skin mixed with her own arousal. Marlena’s breasts strained within the increasingly too-tight confines of her black mini dress, her body trembling on the edge of a desperately needed orgasm. “I’m so close.”

 

 

 

~~~~~~~

 

Walking into the parking garage, Sawyer heard voices, something that sounded like a woman, she was panting. In his dream, that was how Marlena sounded like. Needing to get to his car, he quickened his pace, the loud voices got closer and closer when he spotted her.

Oh.Fuck.

He got hard in a matter of seconds.

It was her. Marlena.  She was leaning against the wall, her eyes closed with ecstasy, her beautiful chest exposed, just as he remembered it, her long fingers grasping on something between her legs, oh Jesus, it was John, kneeling exactly where Sawyer wanted to be.

Feeling so wrong to lurk like that, he turned to leave, but he couldn't stop the sounds of her loud moaning as she came against John's tongue.

 

~~~~~~~

 

 

John’s lips circled her clit, and his cheeks hollowed. Sucking rhythmically, he massaged the hypersensitive knot with the tip of his tongue. Everything tightened viciously, then released in a fiery burst of pleasure. “Oh ...fuck...oh...fuck... fuck... fuck...”, The orgasm poured through her in a scorching wave. She cried out, pumping her hips mindlessly into his mouth, lost to the primal connection between them. John held her up as her knees weakened, tonguing her quivering flesh until the last tremor faded.

 

 

When she opened her eyes again, the darkness reminded her that they were still at the parking garage. Standing in a rush, John picked her up and carried her to the hood of his parked car. He dropped her lengthwise on the hood, then pushed her back to rest on the rear window, arching her spine. She eyed him up the length of her torso. Then he ripped open his button fly and pulled his big, beautiful penis out, and she didn’t care how he took her just so long as he did. She whimpered as he shoved into her, her body struggling to accommodate the wonderful fullness she craved. Yanking her hips to meet his powerful thrusts, John battered her tender folds with that brutally thick column of rigid flesh, his gaze dark and possessive, his breath leaving him in primitive grunts every time he hit the end of her. A trembling moan left her, the friction of his drives stirring her never-sated need to be fucked senseless by him. Only him. A handful of strokes and his head fell back as he gasped her name, his hips rolling to stir her into a frenzy.

“I love fucking you, Marlena...”

 

The ragged sound he made was so erotic her pussy trembled in appreciation. “Yeah, baby girl...just like that.” she tightened around him, and he cursed. His gaze found hers, the stunning blue hazed with sexual euphoria. A convulsive shudder racked his powerful frame, followed by an agonized sound of ecstasy. His cock jerked inside her, once, twice, and then he was cuming long and hard, spurting hotly into the clutching depths of her body. She didn’t have time to climax again, but it didn’t matter. She watched him with awe and pure female triumph. In the moments of orgasm, she owned him as entirely as he owned her.

 

Leaning backward, John pulled himself from her warmth. She looked so beautiful as always, and she was his again. He was so happy to be back in her arms, between her legs, that he almost forgot they were at a hospital parking lot. She didn't say a word, he had no idea what happened tonight, when she was saying tonight, she referred to it all, Jade’s death and Sawyer’s maneuverings.

 

How could she explain Jade without explaining Kit, how could she tell him about Sawyer without feeling as though she had betrayed his trust? Walking forward she pulled her dress strips back to her creamy shoulders.

His rough hand on her back stopped her actions.

“John?”

“What’s that, princess?” he muttered, his fingers grazing over her skin.

She shut her eyes, a gasp escaping her lips.

“Who carved that ‘K’ on your back”?