Pain.

It was everywhere. It was in her head, in the pit of her stomach and in her very soul. Her eyes fluttered, not sure how long was she out. Did she pass out or was she drugged again? Closing her eyes to avoid reality, dark images crawled up their way from her sub-conscience, some of them had sound, other were muted. Marlena managed to lift her head, slightly bending her knees up, a sharp pain ran through her body, and her breath got caught at her throat. She remembered it all, although it was somewhat foggy, there she was, grinding against the concrete wall, while Kit took her from behind. Blood dripped down her leg, the wound had opened up again, and a sharp pain pierced her mind when she remembered... she...she let him...she let him take her. Not only did she let him...she got off of it.

 

Now that pain was also in her mind, and it was all too much to bare. Marlena tried to move, to change positions but the pain resonated through her body and caused her to yelp in agony. Looking down, she pushed the blanket that covered her body, the dried and caked blood that ran from her upper thigh to her ankle, reminded her of her wound... The wound was inflamed and oozing a thick yellow liquid. She touched it lightly and pain resonated through her body. All she could feel was pain.

No hope, no chance of an escape, just pain and despair. How had this become her life she wondered. She should be back in Salem, in the arms of the only man that she has ever really loved. They should be planning their wedding, but Instead, she was here in this hell at the mercy of an evil sick man who only wanted to cause her pain.

The memories of the previous night started to surface again. Kit’s hands on her body, his fingers Inside her, his mouth and tongue on the most private places of her body.

Her mind was tortured as she thought of his hands grabbing her hips as he entered her from behind, pounding her. He grunted in her ear, the horrible things he said as he got off.

Oh, my God! she didn’t try to stop him. Why?!?!

 

Sobbing like a lost child, Marlena sent her long fingers in between her legs, knowing what happened. Tears poured down her cheeks as her crying turned louder and louder.

“Oh, god, John, how could I allow this to happen? How could I let him bring me to orgasm? How will you ever forgive me…” No, it was rape, she didn’t want any of this. He did something to her or gave her something that made her lose herself. She would never welcome his touch. She Hated him...

Her mind was screaming, she put her hands over her ears to try and drown out the noise. “Oh God!” she screamed and collapsed on the cot, weeping uncontrollably...

I can’t go on like this, she thought. If this is to be my life, here with Kit at his mercy, I would rather be dead. I can’t bear the thought of him inside me, of his hands and mouth on me. I can’t!

 

Kit stepped into the filthy dungeon.  He saw Marlena on the cot, her knees pulled to her chest and her head rested on them. Marlena raised her head , looking straight ahead but not really focusing on anything. Even like that, with her hair messed up and her makeup smeared, wrapped in a thin blanket, she was the most beautiful creature he has ever seen. It almost felt like she didn’t see him come in, hours has passed since the last time he has seen her. He smile, his tongue trailed his teeth when the memory of last night flashed through his eyes again. He almost couldn’t believe how well the relaxers worked, she got off and it was from his doing. He shivered and got closer to her.
“I do feel sorry for you,” he said.
“Oh.” She wasn’t even looking at him
“No, I’m kidding, I’m not”
“Funny. Why don’t you just go to Hell, Kit“ Marlena glareed up at him.

“You know, Kitten, I thought I would come in here and see you curled in a ball crying and praying for death to come. But look at you sitting up with hell in your eyes and your fighting spirit in tact. I’m proud of ya, I thought that after you got off of me last night, that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself.”  he smirked and stepped closer to the cot.
“You we’re right to think that Kit, I don’t want to live if it means that this is my life.” She looks down at the dirty floor, she could almost hear John’s chainse when he walked around this very same floor. “‘I thought about it, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. There were reasons, I thought, for staying alive. Or maybe I’m just one of those animals that just can’t give up, no matter what. Maybe I can see myself getting my life back one day and that hope keeps me going.”

She paused a moment. “I suspect you’re probably like me. You’ll have to be dragged, kicking and screaming to your death. Even if life makes no sense at all.”
“It does sound like me,” was all he said.
“Well,” she said. “Sorry to be such a bummer, but I’m planning to stay alive, John’s gonna find me. And you will not find another way to rape and/or humiliate me ever again.”
“I must take that as a challenge, Kitten ”
“Kit,but isn't getting to know me better a thrilling to?”
“You have no idea.”
“So why don’t you tell me your most painful memory,” she suggested, trying to keep him away.
“It hasn’t happened yet.”

“Huh?”
“It will be when I’m no longer here, like this, with you.”
“That’s so sweet,” she said, acidly.

“Maybe you are the one,” he said, ignoring her. “You understand pain. I’ll give you more of it, and you’ll take it, I admire that about you. And I’m beginning to wonder where this will end.”

“With you making me your own. Isn’t that what you said all along?”
“Yes,” he said. “I’d happily spend the rest of my life doing it.”
“Let’s hope that it’s a short life then,” she said, with a nasty grin.
He really did love her fighting spirit and that smart ass mouth. He looked at her and licked his lips , leaning in closer to her.

“I’m glad you didn’t kill yourself. This way I can just keep on fucking you. Oh Kitten, you’re my little sex toy, get used to it. There’s no getting out of here. Except it, this is your life now”
This conversation was making her ill. What she said earlier about wanting to live no matter what started to sound very foolish, did she really mean it? Taking her own life started to sound like a pretty good idea at the moment.

Kit stood and took her hand. “Let go Kitten, we have to get you cleaned up before Dr. Harley comes to fix you up.”

Marlena pushed his hand away, trying to stand , she wobbled as the pain shoot through her leg and she fell back to the cot.

Kit scooped her up in his arms as she struggled to cover herself with the thin fabric of the blanket.

 

John awoke after another fitful night of very little sleep. He had been back in Salem for two weeks after all leads in Fiji went cold. What all John knew for sure is that Marlena was not in Fiji, but there were no leads as to where he may have taken her.

John had called in favors to his friends in the ISA, they were on the case but hadn’t turned up any leads yet. He was frustrated, he got up and showered, got dressed and headed to the police station like he did every morning since he had arrived back in Salem.

Walking into Abe’s office, John took a seat looking over the papers on his desk to see if there was anything new. Abe walked in and greeted him, “Good morning Buddy, I’m not surprised to see you here so early. Couldn’t sleep again?”

“Yeah partner, you know how it’s been since I had to leave Fiji without Doc. Are there any new leads at all? Any word from the bastard who took her?”

“Well actually, John we did get someth--”

John cut Abe off. ”What was it? Did he ask for a ransom? Did he say if Marlena was ok? Did you get to talk to Doc?’

“Whoa, buddy. First of all, we didn’t get a call, but there was a message left. It is an email that is addressed to you and marked private.”

“Did you open it? Let me see it?”

“No I figured that I would let you open it and read it, there is an attachment, a video I think. I thought that you should see it first and decided what you wanted to do with the information.”

“Ok, may I use your computer and get a little privacy please.”

“Yes, of course,” Abe answered. He cleared the officers out of his office and told John to get him when he was done.

John took a seat behind the desk and clicked on the email to open it. He tapped the desk nervously with a pen while waiting for the file to open. Soon the screen came up, and he heard Kit's voice,

“Well, Hello there Mr.Black, I thought you may be missing your sweet Doc and may wonder what’s she been up to. Well, I have a treat for you, my friend. A little show, shall we say. I’m sure you will enjoy it Immensely, I know that I sure did.”

Music starts to play and soon the camera flicks. John could see a figure coming from the bathroom. As she came closer, he saw it was Doc, she was wearing a leather corset and very high heels. She has a faraway look in her eyes. John could hear Kit command her to walk to him and turn around. She did so with no resistance. “What the hell...” he thought.

Marlena started to dance for him, moving her hips and grinding against him. John thought he might be sick. The dance continued for a little while with Marlena grinding in Kit’s lap and Kit caressing her breasts and body. John started to lose his shit.

Next, Kit dragged Marlena by her wrists and tied her to the bedpost. Turning her around he dropped to his knees, brushing his hands over her bare ass before biting hard drawing blood. John saw how her head snapback and a scream came from her gut, but then it faded to black.

Again Kit’s voice came on. ”As you can see, your precious Doc is in good hands with me. I will take very good care of her and all her needs, sexual and otherwise.” The screen went black.

“YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH! I WILL FIND YOU AND I’LL KILL YOU!!” He screamed at the screen, he picked up the phone and slammed it against the computer screen shattering it. John cleared the desk off with one arm while yelling profanities, trashing the office.

Abe rushed through the door. “John! What the hell's going on? What are you doing in my office?” He was worried, he has never seen him act that way.

“That son of a bitch has her, and he has her under some sort of trance, or drugged or something.”John held his head, walking around the room like a caged beast.

“John, calm down buddy.”

“I can’t CALM DOWN Abe! I have to find her now. Before he’ll do something even worse to her.”

“John, John, talk to me. What was on message?” Abe got closer, making his way between all the wreckage on the floor.

“Abe, he had her in the hotel, I recognized the room. She came out of his bathroom, but it was like she wasn’t really there.” John paced frantically around the desk

“What? you are not making sense, what do you mean she wasn’t really there?”

“Her eyes man, her eyes were hollow like she was a robot or something. Abe, she was wearing skimpy clothes and dancing for him, but it was mechanical, unnatural.”

“This must have been the night that she went missing" Abe picked his phone from the floor, placing it on the desk. "Laura searched that room the next morning and said that something awful had taken place there. You even found her earring and a scrap of her dress. John do you think he may have ra…”

“No partner, not again. She couldn’t take that again. I don’t know what happened, all I know is that she wasn’t herself and he must have drugged her or something. That was three weeks ago, there is no telling what he has done since.”

“Or if she is even still alive,” Abe adds the thing that John couldn’t utter. “You did hear the gunshot over the phone, and you found a lot of blood at the scene.”

“No, Abe, she is alive, I know she is. I would feel it if she weren’t.”

“Ok, ok I’m sorry Bud, you are right. You would know. So what’s next?”

“Well, next I guess I owe you a new computer monitor Bud.”

Abe pet John on the shoulder. “I’ll give you a few minutes to pull yourself together, and we’ll clean up this mess, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Ok, thanks Abe,” John responded.

He leaned his elbows on the wall and placed his head in his hands.

“Oh, god, Doc, this Is not how this was supposed to go. We should be lying on the beach wrapped up in each other’s arm. Instead, you are god knows where with a madman. Oh, Baby, I’m so sorry, I failed you again. I let that psycho kidnap you.

I will find you Doc, I will find you and kill that son of a bitch.” John’s tears fall freely down his face.

 

Kit scooped her up in his arms as she struggled to cover herself with the light blanket. He carried her out of the dungeon and up to her room into the bathroom. Sitting her on the vanity, he stepped to the shower turning the knobs to start the water.

Marlena looked up at him, fear in her eyes that she could no longer hide. Oh god, she thought, please don’t let him hurt me again. Not again.

Kit pushed the blanket up her leg then reached over pulling a pair of scissors out of the drawer. He started to cut away the tattered remains of her bandages.

Marlena tried to jerk her leg away from his touch, and yelped in pain when he grabbed it back roughly, they both looked who the blood started to trickle down her thigh once again.

“Now, look what you did Kitten, you made it bleed again. You should really learn to stop fighting me, I’m always going to win in the end. I’m bigger and stronger than you, and I can take you at any time.”

Kit pulled the blanket away as Marlena struggled madly to keep it. As he threw the sheet to the floor, Marlena’s hands immediately went up to cover her breasts, which peeped from her torn dress as tears began to form at the corners of her eyes.

 

Kit reached up to wipe a stray tear, giving her an evil smile.”Awww how cute, my Kitten is still so shy after everything we have shared over the last months. I have seen every inch of your beautiful body, baby girl and I will see it many more times.”

Kit reached his hand out and brushed his fingers across the top of one breast. Marlena looked away sharply and whimpered. “Please, Kit, stop this. Please don’t hurt me again.”

“You are so very beautiful when you cry.” Kit grabbed her chin, turning her face toward him, claiming her mouth with a vicious kiss, his other hand ran up her side to her breast and squeezed hard.

Marlena cried out in pain once again, but her screams were muffled by his mouth.

Kit pulled Marlena to her feet and turned her to face the mirror. He forced her hands to her sides, keeping them there. He pushed her knees apart with his left hand while running his right one between her legs, grabbing her center and flicking her clit with his thumb, he squeezed. “This is my pussy ,Kitten, all mine.” His other hand traveled up her side, fondling her breast roughly, he whispered in her ear. “Look at us,  Baby girl, we belong together. You are mine, and I will have you forever. I will never let you go, neeeever.”

 

He pushed her toward the shower. “Clean up Kitten, you are quite a mess.”

“Ki—” The shower door opened and she was yanked inside. She started to squeal as the water hit her but his hand immediately covered her mouth.

“Shush,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t talk if I were you, Doc.” He pushed her up against the shower wall and stared down into her eyes. She blinked the water from her lashes and peered up at him. Slowly, he began to pull his hand away. “What are you doing?” She whispered up at him. “Please...Kit...Don’t .” He looked down, his dark gaze cold as ice as it roamed over her slowly, almost lazily. His lips began to curve into a smile. “I love it when you beg, Princes.” He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged it up. “Wait…” she hissed, but he didn’t stop. Pulling the shirt over his head, he tossed it carelessly to the side where it landed with a wet plop. “Stop..please...Why are you doing this?” She yelled. His mouth came down on her mouth. His hands pulled down the rims of her dress. She reached up, trying to stop him but his mouth kept pressing over her mouth, driving her to distraction. His kiss deepened, his lips pulled hungrily from her lips as her dress fell away. One warm, slick hand came down on her right breast, squeezing it, while the other shoved down between her legs. “Kit,” she begged into his mouth. “Please…”

“Shush,” he growled and kissed her harder to keep her quiet. His knee nudged at her knee and then he reached down, pulling her bad leg up, hooking it on his hip. She buckled, “Aww, Kitten, you can barely stand. I’d tell you what” he leaned over, pressing his weight on her, squeezing her onto the warm tiles. “You are going to clean up nicely for me now…and I shall join you later this evening.”

The sunset light coming through the window gave him the opportunity to see how amazingly beautiful she was. She had a rough night, no doubt about that, but here, standing in the bathroom with her makeup messed up, hair everywhere, and a small bite mark on her shoulder from last night, she was fucking gorgeous.

Fuck me, He thought He’d never seen a woman as attractive as she was right now in his life. He could only imagine how much better it will be when she had showered and fresh. Fuck, just thinking about that kept his dick hard. Every part of her last night begged for him to take her, to take control. Some primal instinct reared its head inside of him. The bite on her shoulder was a small mark, but it’s something he knew she will see in the mirror. He wanted her to see it. Fuck, he wanted the world to see it. She was his now,  “Dr. Harley will be here soon to fix that hip of yours, baby girl. Don't keep her waiting” he said as he turned and left the room.

 

Marlena closed her eyes in pain when he let go of her injured hip, he gave her a smirk and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Marlena fell to the shower floor and curled into a ball, crying uncontrollably, “Oh... god... I just can’t do this. I can’t go on living if this is my life. I can't endure being raped by that madman every day. That is not living, that is a living hell. I can’t... “ Marlena stood and started scrubbing her skin raw with a loofah, not feeling the pain at all. Placing her face under the water stream, she tried to scrub away the feel of his lips on hers to no avail.

She reached out for the hot water knob, turning it all the way up. Grabbing the soap and loofah, she scrubbed and scrubbed for what seemed like hours. After rinsing all the soap away, she wrapped herself in a towel and stepped out of the shower. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, whipping the fog away she stared into the hollow eyes that stared back at her. Her skin was red from the hot water and harsh scrubbing. Her face was drawn from the physical pain as well as the pain her body had suffered

The reflection looking back at her from the mirror was not hers, she was not a woman at all, just a shell of her former self. She couldn’t cry anymore, there were no more tears. Not for her old self, not for John and the future they were to share, not for her beautiful children at home whom she longed to hold. No there was nothing here. Nothing but pain and emptiness, despair and overwhelming sorrow.

She could not live this life, she had to end this madness now. Marlena stumbled into the bedroom looking around madly for anything that would assist her. Looking down she saw something, a flicker in the light. Reaching down she found the knife she had discarded after trying to undo her restrained a couple of days ago. This will work she thought while sitting back on the bathroom floor, she looked at the sharp metal object in her hand. Watched how it fell to the floor right next to her while her hand shook violently with fear.

“Oh god, John please forgive me, I am just not strong enough to go on like this.” Marlena’s vision started to blur as tears filled her eyes.

This darkness was the only thing she breathed anymore. The only thing she cared about was making the pain go away, no matter what the cost. When she took a minute and really thought about it, there was something terrifying, yet, oddly peaceful about the turmoil that raged inside her.  That moment she thought she might finally be able to end it all and drift into an uncaring bliss. She knew people, won’t understand why she did what she did. She was okay with that, but for her, it was the only way out, she was continually suffocating. Usually, only one thing helped to pull her from the darkness that threatened to take her from the living to the dead, it was John. It was always John, although, right now, she couldn't even remember his face, the way his lips curled when he smiled, the touch of his hand or the humm of his voice. Reason said that this was a good time to cry, cry for her lost life, cry for the death of all hope, but she couldn't cry anymore, she was so dry.

 

Kit was just a man and no matter how big it is; this was just a house.  It didn’t change who he is or who he was last night. As she sat there, she could hear the voice of doubt creeping into her head. You know why you’re so nervous.  You know you’ll never be good enough for a man like John again, not after last night. You’ll never be good enough to be his wife. You’ll never be clean enough for someone like him.  She threw her hands over her ears trying to drown out the voice that echoed through her head.

She didn’t need this right now.  She was doing so well a few months ago. She actually felt good, she was about the marry the man of her dreams.  She felt confident, and everything was fine. Why did it have to happen? Just do it, the voice taunted. C’mon, show him what you’re capable of, Show him your true self and why you’ll never be with him. He even ruined you for John.

She scooted in her seat on the bathroom floor slightly and closed her eyes.  She pulled her hands from her ears, bringing them around her body and clutched herself tightly and begin to rock herself back and forth. “I can do this. I can do this.” she chanted. No, you can’t, the voice in her head taunted.  If you could do this, then you wouldn’t still have the knife on the floor waiting for you. Do you really think John is going to be able to forgive you after the way you got off with Kit last night? You’re a fool, Marlena.

She opened her eyes and let them drift to the knife.  Her fingers unwrap from her body, and she watched in a daze as they slowly reached out and caressed the metal.  She watched and felt as they rub lightly back and forth before touching the sharp tip.

“No!” she said, with as much emphasis as she could muster.  See, even you don’t believe yourself anymore. The voice laughed. Just do yourself a favor and do it already, the pain will be over soon.  She felt the defeat and darkness seeping through her body. She tried to fight it, she really did, but she was losing. The voice was right.  She’ll never be good enough for John again, the pain that Kit inflicted on her will never go away, no matter what she’ll do, she will always feel it on her flash and in her mind.  She didn’t know what she was thinking. But this was her reality. She let the final tidal wave of black wash over her and reached to the floor and grab the knife. Without hesitation, she took the blade between her fingers and made three cuts on her left inner arm. The minute the blade left her skin and the blood started to drop her head started to clear.  

The pain that has consumed her for days was finally ridding itself from her body.  The blood that trickled down her wrist was insignificant compared to the sense of calm that was finally sweeping through her body. The pain began to give her clarity, and she realized what she’d done.  She dropped the blade back to the floor and grabbed her wrist. She couldn’t control the feelings that overwhelmed her, but when she took the blade to her skin, she felt free. It was that moment when she finally felt in control of her life again.

Suddenly, a voice spoke to her, for a second she thought she was dreaming.

Everything moved so slow, “Marlena,” she looked down at her bleeding wrist, her other hand was covered in blood, trying to make the flow stop, but now another set of hands were taking care of her.

Dr. Harley.

“Marlena,” she said again, starting to put more pressure to her wrist “ Oh, what have you done? Fight, you gotta fight. You’re not only fighting for one life anymore”.