15 years ago.

 

Out of nowhere, he grabbed her around the waist and pinned her body, face first, against the wall, slamming her head against the wall.

“Now...start talking,” his familiar accent growled. Fear rushed through Marlena’s body as her head began to ache and her vision became blurry. “Fernando...please, if you just-” she pleaded, her pulse quickening. “Stop fucking rambling, woman. Now, come on, spill it,” he slurred.

“You’re drunk. I had a mission.” She tried to fight against him but couldn’t move. Even drunk, he was stronger than she was.

“Just let me go. I didn’t mean for this to happen!” She felt blood begin to trickle down her face. “You shouldn’t have been there! You’ve made it difficult for me to do my job!” she bellowed, but he pressed her even harder against the wall.

“What job was that Marlena?” demanded forcefully, his breath hot against her neck.

Realizing that the only way she could possibly overpower him was by distracting him, she tried to keep him talking. “I can’t tell you! Can’t you see?!” she sobbed.

“Of course you can’t! But I know, Marlena! I know who you are; I know what you’re capable of, I know everything! And I want blood!”

She paused, unable to formulate a response. Replaying his words, confusion washed over her. He was completely terrifying.

“That wasn't supposed to happen, Fernando.”

“Don’t mock me, bitch!” Keeping Marlena pressed against the wall with his body, he reached into his pocket and grabbed a swiss army knife, pressing it against her throat. Dread overwhelmed her when she felt the cold metal against her skin, tears streaming down her face.

“Fernando, please,” she quivered, her legs growing weak….

 

The present.

 

His fingers crept up her neck, slid into her hair. Every inch of her skin came alive from the follicles of her scalp to the soft pads of her heels.  

She purred under his caress, “Do that again.”

“This?” He repeated the motion, his fingertips dancing over her skin like a ballerina. She hummed the music that matched the steps, imagining her fingers flying over piano keys. The dance peaked at her chin and tilted her upward to greet the soft, fingers on her lips.

Her hum vibrated against the silky fingertip, and she envisioned the notes as colors, spirals of reds that glowed brightly. Her moan mixed with the symphony of his hands.

Fernando…Fernando…Fernando… His name echoed through her head, a tick, a glimmer of truth as if that single thought was trying to tell her something. “Don’t move, Principessa.” Rainbows of color swirled behind her eyes.

 

In the darkness of her state, she found freedom. Found the most unbelievable ecstasy possible. She parted her mouth to smile, the most ridiculous naive smile she has ever put on her face, humming, “Principessa….Principessa..don't you just looove this word?”

 

“Goddammit, what have you done to her?!”

 

John. She recognized that voice, she would recognize it anywhere. Opening her eyes, she saw bright rays of light bursting within the black rectangle shape in front of her. His worried face was glowing, and she grinned, “Oh baby...why are you so pink? Get closer...touch me” a low giggle fell from her lips as she stretched herself on the bed.

 

“You leave her alone! You leave her alone, right now!” his screams filled the room. Fernando held her cellphone and the little man that was inside of it, “Oh, John, I’m so glad you finally found the time to call your wife, we were expecting you. She has been very lonely, but don’t worry; I’m keeping her company” he didn’t even smile when he spoke, his words were like air.

 

All he could see was his beautiful wife, and she was naked, on their huge bed, and now, she was high.

“What did you do to her, you sick fuck?” he growled

“I just gave her some ecsta, you know, to take the edge off.”

“Leave her the fuck alone!” John roared, glaring at the man’s hand where it sat on Marlena’s thigh, raising his gaze to meet Fernando's who sneered with viciousness, “She was fighting me for far too long; I was getting tired, and also damn horny. What is it with you, Black, always scoring the best bitches?” Fernando sinister laugh chilled his blood.

 

“John...I’m cold…. hold me” rolling on the bed, the naked woman stood up, pulling the blue comforter to cover her torso.

His body pressed her into the mattress as a hand trailed along the small of her back. “Sure, I’ll hold ya” He swept her hair back, and his mouth opened over the sensitive skin underneath her ear, hot tongue-searing flesh.

“You always tasted so good.”

Oh God… no… The soaring feeling trickled in, and her body felt weightless.

Oh shit… yes…

“Jhooddd…”

Fuuuuck… What was she trying to say?

“Are you watching that, John?” his deep voice said, each word pronounced in slow motion. “Do you? It’s payback time, Black.” He withdrew his hand, and she heard the unmistakable sound of John screaming before he dipped his finger in, making her insides clench in a blissful ache.

 

“I just wish it didn’t take this to lower your guard, but a promise is a promise, after all, right John?” Somewhere in her foggy brain, she knew she should feel shame at the moan that poured from her— long and continuous as his finger fucked her. His palm kneaded her butt cheeks, and his knee spread her legs, fingers reaching for her clit.

 

“Doc! Baby listen to me! I’m right here, baby, hear my voice” his desperation was slowly replaced with a sense of futility when Fernando bit her neck and then all the way down to her ass. John tried his hardest to plead with him, but everything came out as a mumble.

 

He cupped her breasts into his hands, then ran his tongue along her back. John closed his eyes and tried to pretend that it was not happening; even though, the sick feeling in his stomach refused to let him forget.

 

Marlena fisted the messy bedding and groaned, her teeth clamping down on the twisted sheets. Her hips bucked and tension coiled low in her belly as she impaled herself on his fingers.

Again.

Again.

Shit… harder. So close. Ooooh… good God. She didn’t want this. It was wrong. So horribly detestable. A deep burn ignited in her chest, threatening to turn her to ash. John’s face pulled at the edges of her mind, compelling her to follow, to free-fall into the memory of him. She squeezed her eyes shut and allowed the fantasy to take over. John’s hands, his skin on hers, his breath in her ear. His fingers pulling at her hair.

“More,” she groaned. “I need to come.”

 

He pulled away, and she cried out in protest, begging him not to stop. Every part of her body tensed, readying for release, needing it, and the longer he delayed, the more the ache intensified.

“Are you listening to this, John? She wants more” He tickled her back with what felt like his fingers. “You wanna watch her come, man?”

Her heart pounded at an alarming rate, and the burn still simmered in her chest, a moment away from burning.

“Doc! Get your hand off her you fucking asshole! If you have unclosed business with me, come over here and let's settle this! But leave her alone!” he yelled as loud as he could.

 

"Shhhhhh...." his grin was alarming

Pure sin encased her blushed body, and she rubbed the silk sheets between thumb and forefinger, over and over again, entranced by the texture, certain she could never stop touching it. Slowly, tension melted from her bones, her limbs, her hands. The fire in her chest was but an ember. She gazed at him, and his crooked smile hit her in the chest. It was so open and free. In that moment, he resembled someone else, someone who struck a cord of comfort in her.

“Come here,” he demanded, holding out a hand. She moved with effortless grace, her feet gliding across the floor, and slid her palm into his. He lifted a cup to her lips, and the water that poured down her throat extinguished the fire.

 

“What I gave you freed your mind.” His fingers wiped her brow. He pulled her against him, picked her up and tossed her onto the bed where her body sank into heaven.

“Doc!”

Fluidity surrounded her, wrapping her skin in cool silk. She fisted her hands in it, suddenly discovering their existence. Why had it taken her so long? Fingers curled, smooth texture clenched in palms—everything exquisite, especially the stiff length of his fingers, brushing the tips of her breasts. His breaths whispered across her face, rustling her hair like a summer-laced breeze. Her jaw slackened, tongue relaxed against her teeth, and a finger pressed inside. She closed her lips and sucked the salt from his skin.

“Mmm...”

“Mio Dio, did you get that, John?” he said, amusement laced in his voice.

“Fernando!! Take your hands off her! Listen to me! You wanted to talk. Come on. Let’s talk!”

 

Her mouth pulled on his finger, drawing him deeper.

Tasting.

She never wanted to stop tasting.

“No, baby.” He withdrew his finger. With a frown of displeasure, she chased it with her mouth. “Your husband wants to talk, so,” lifting the phone from where he leaned it, “let's talk.”

“Mmm, but you taste so good.”

His laughter rumbled like a trombone. “I like you this way, submissive. But Johnny boy wants to talk and you know, that Johnny always gets his way.” the venom in his words was too obvious.

 

“What way?” she almost told him to stop talking and let her taste again, but his voice was a drug she couldn’t resist. “Look at you Marlena, higher than Mt. Fucking Everest.” The curve of her lips felt alluring.

“That’s pretty high.”

“Let's talk, Mr. Black wants to watch something else” he demanded.

 

Fernando. Somewhere in the darkest corner of her mind, a siren sounded. A warning.

Feeling this way was wrong…but she couldn’t recall why.

“Okay, baby.” Her chest squeezed as she uttered the words, and she imagined not only the love in John’s blue eyes but the promise of forgiveness.

The promise of forever.

 

“I’m gonna be sick.” she tried to tell him, but the words were jumbled, tripping over themselves in their rush to leave her. As quick as it came, the nausea left, and she was left with a feeling of indescribable ecstasy again. Her body felt as if it was glowing, her cheeks heating as a smile broke free of its own accord. It was impossible to describe how good she felt.

 

“Marlena” Fernando sounded as if he was underwater. “Principessa, I need you to focus.” Clasping her hand in his big warm one, he grinned at her. His eyes appear comically large in his head, and his hair took on a life of its own. It looked like it was waving from the top of his head. “Focus.” she giggled as she watched his hair moving.

When the motion of his hair became impossibly faster, dizziness gripped her. Her eyes began to roll back in her head, and that made the smile slip from Fernando’s face.

 

He slapped her on the cheek. It stung and pulled her back to the present.

"Fucking asshole! Doc!"

“Stay with me, Marlena. I have some questions for you.” Ignoring John, Fernando didn’t sound playful anymore. The roughness that usually tinged his tone has been replaced with a cruel disregard for her drugged state.

 

“Tell me your name” His short question made her eyebrows draw together. Fernando knew her name, and she opened her mouth to tell him that. The desire to question him died a sudden death when the relentless need that she felt to please him hit her.

She answered in a rush, eager to stop the scowl that was beginning to cross his face from taking shape.

 

“Marlena-Evans Black.” Pulling herself to a seated position, she leaned against the headboard. He ran his thumb over her inner wrist. His tender touch increased her already erratic pulse and the cloud of desire that overpowered her every time he touched her took over again.

 

“Bueno senorita.” He rubbed the thin skin on her wrist. She clamped her thighs together in response.

“How does this make you feel, Marlena-Evans Black?”

“Horny.” she giggled at her honesty, the snicker becoming a full-blown belly rumbling laugh when Fernando joined in.

“That means it’s working, cara.” (*From italian=Dear) The moment was lost when his voice became harsh and demanding as he threw questions at her, pausing only long enough for her to answer.

“How old are you?”

“Forty-one.”

“Where do you live?”

“Here.”

“Who do you live with?”

“John.”

“How long do you know him?”

“Since 1986 ”

“WRONG! Where did you meet?”

“Leave her alone!” she could hear John yelling

“At University hospital.”

“WRONG!”

Fernando bellowed at her, throwing her hand away from him.

She shrunk back into the bed, quaking in fear.

 

“Fernando! I’m fucking warning you! If you get near her, I’ll hunt you down, and I will gut you!” John’s voice howled from within the small device in Fernando’s hand.

“NO!” he screamed back, “You’re not in any position of power here, Black.” turning back to face her, he started again, getting closer and closer until she could almost feel his hot breath on her face. The heat scorched her skin.

“I will try this again. What year did you meet John Black?”

“1986”

“WRONG!.AGAIN!” standing up, he stormed towards the window. A long while passed, and when she realized he hadn’t moved, in her already semi-drugged state, she straightened up, looking back at him over her shoulder. She saw him gazing up at the ceiling, wearing an expression of pure frustration.

“We are going to do this again, Marlena.” she looked up slowly, her hands squeezing her arms. Her bent knees were shaking. She knew her chest would be next, that her breathing would only get worse. He started to get closer, like a predator to its prey.

 

“Let her go!” John's voice echoed from the small device yet again.

 

“You know Marlena, the night we've met in Lugano I was going to kill you, well, I was going to fuck your brains out and then kill you.”

He turned to face her. “but then, I remembered. I know you, Marlena. I know the real you.”

“Stop.”

She tried to stand up to go around him, but he wouldn’t let her. She needed to find air. She needed to forget the words he had just spoken. She needed to get the hell out of there. But how?

“I can’t listen to this.” He scared her intensely, but she would never let him see that.

“Why?”

“Let me go.” His hands were on her arms, so she rolled her shoulders to wiggle out of his grip. It didn’t work. He only clamped down tighter. She felt herself sobering up, it’ll be morning soon, and the kids would be up.

“Tell me why.”

She didn’t answer, so he lifted her chin until she looked him in the eyes. “Tell me.”

Her anger kicked right in, “Let me go” she was telling him the obvious. His stiff fingers brushed her cheek, making her flinch. He was looming over her. “Where did you meet John?”

“I told you, at the hosp-”

“I don’t believe you! Where.Did.You.Meet.John?” he growled

“Fuck off” She edged away from his touch. Even the feather-like caress of his fingers against her cheekbone hurt, burned like fire.

 

“She’s telling you the truth! Stop it!” she could hear John’s voice much clearer now.

 

“Don’t pull away from me.” He grabbed a fist full of hair and jerked her head forward. “You sure know how to piss me off.”

“It’s not hard.” she yanked violently from his grasp. The cost of freeing herself remained in his fist— several clumps of her hair.

“You go off on the smallest things. Ever heard of anger management? Or an asylum for the criminally insane?"

“Ever heard of the words, shut up?” He stomped across the room and began rifling through drawers. As he busied himself with his frantic search for whatever he was looking for, her attention diverted to the left where the bedroom door beckoned.

“Fernando,” she whispered while he closed his fingers on her dainty wrists. “Please…”

“This hurts me as much as it hurts you.” The muscles in his left arm tensed, fist tightening around her wrists, tying her up to the headboard.

"But I want you to start telling the fucking truth". Nothing on Earth prepared her for strike after strike on her breasts and stomach. He had found John’s whip at the drawer.

“Stop!” Fire danced across her flesh, and she howled at the excruciating sting. She resisted glancing down, scared to see the blood smearing her skin, the ugly red welts he must have left behind. Instead, she focused on John, on the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the rigid set of his jaw. The regret in his eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” she managed

“You know all the secrets, all my past.” She glanced at the white pillows, remembering how she’d awakened, half-naked and cold, with her hands restrained to the bed. “I want to make you suffer...I want you to tell me what you know.”

She shut her eyes, disturbed by the utter shock. “I don’t know what are you talking about! I don't know anything! Please! Stop!”

She heard his voice in her ear. “I have faith you will.” A tear slipped from beneath her closed lids, and the brush of his thumb caught it.

She sucked in a breath. “John.. Please… make him disappear.” He grazed his fingers across her breasts. “Don't fucking call him, he had hurt you.” His words came out strangled. He inched lower, hands drifting over the evidence of his brutality, and smoothed a palm along her stomach, where he had branded her with scratches.

 

“Doc, Look at me,” he interrupted.

 

“Where did you meet?” Fernando’s voice hummed in her ear, setting her attention from John’s face. He continued to watch her, waiting for her to answer and just as victory crossed his face she fixed her stare back on John, knowing she was defying him with that simple action.

 

She froze when his hand slid up the middle of her breastbone and circled her throat. “Tell me how you know him, Principessa.” His tone was softer this time, the tightness in his throat echoing an emotion that, if she didn’t know him, would have sounded much like hurt.

“I told you...”

His eyes darkened to slate, the intensity of his wrath as strong as his sudden grip on her neck, his fingers slowly blocking the tight tunnel of her lifeline. “I will break you, Marlena,” he hissed in her ear, his hot breath torture against her cold skin. “I will hurt you and possess you so entirely that you will ask for permission to fucking breathe, you will tell me everything I want to know. Everything” He stared at her as she stared back, both of them unwilling to back down, both as strong as each other. Courage and determination came from nowhere as her gut bubbled angrily and her mind blocked him, refusing his request for surrender.

“Never,” she whispered through the strength of his hold. “I will never be your possession. And I can promise that whatever you do, you will never succeed in breaking me. I will tell you nothing, because I know nothing”

He held her gaze but his anger was suddenly overwritten by something else, and he pulled back, dropping his tight grip on her neck before he picked up her cellphone, ignoring John’s loud screams. “So, Marlena Evans Black”, he started as though the previous conversation had been nothing but general gossip, “Mr. Black, he is your husband, right? So he was very intimate with you. You tell each other everything” She couldn’t grasp what he was insinuating, why he seemed to be more concerned if she’d had a relationship with John sometime before 1986. No. Impossible. Why would she believe him? “I don’t understand what you want from me.”

His hand slid higher up her neck until he cupped her chin, his hold gentle as his long fingers framed her jawline. “Tell me, Marlena.” His eyes secured hers, the rich green swirling expressively as he gazed at her.

“TELL ME!” Fernando’s voice roared now, making the walls shake.

“Please!!!”  

“Please what?”

She shook her head. No, she had no idea what he was talking about. A sob broke free, then another. Tears slid down her cheeks, and each one amplified the grief simmering in her soul until all she felt was denial.

Anger.

Rage.

Her head started pounding, and a light wave pierced her mind in pain. Her eyes burned with the strengthening of her headache. Nausea threatened to embrace her further.

“STOP.” She lifted her knees to her stomach, holding her temples with both hands, pressing hard. “Stop! Stop! Stop, Soldato!”

 

She had watched him succumb to her deliverance. She had given him a weakness he hadn’t expected. And although sickening, it energised her, gave her a sliver of influence over him. She had witnessed his knees buckle, his heartbeat pound in the base of his neck and his breathing stutter from something she had done, a moment of role reversal, and damn if she didn’t feel euphoric. He stilled immediately, and she grimaced. As quickly as it affected him, the headache seemed to fade. The instant he heard her slip up, he froze, like a statue. She hung before him, naked, exposed. The evil smile bled from his face, and he pierced her with a deep, hollow stare.

 

“Marlena! Doc! What is going on, talk to me” she was trying to make up his words, but her mind was still swimming in a sea of colors and focusing was hard to do, “John?”

“Baby, listen to me, look at me” the frustration in his voice was evident. The last time he had seen her was four days ago, four days of hell, not knowing what was going on, and apparently, now the kids were there. He didn’t even know if they were alright.

“Doc! Can you hear me?” he shouted as she pushed herself up to her feet, slowly. Fernando didn’t move, his eyes were empty, but his lips mumbled quietly in Italian. She couldn’t help sighing in appreciation at his stillness.

 

She could hear a voice. Focus Marlena!

 

“Y-Yes! John! Oh my Goodness, What is going on?” her shoulders were bunched, stress and tension pulling at her beautiful body.

“I don’t know baby; you spoke Italian, you must have triggered something in him” He sucked air through his teeth and narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be struggling with his thoughts, “I-I don’t know italian..” she frowned in confusion then blinked and moved back, her head turning to their bedroom, her eyes never leaving the tall blonde man at her bedroom.

 

”I know you don’t, sweetheart...but, I need you to listen carefully. Can you do that for me?”

Her cheeks flamed brightly as she dropped her eyes to her hands.

“I’m-I’m foggy…”

“Marlena, I know it’s hard, but you gotta focus. I don't know how much time we have.”

“I’m listening.”

“Get up, quietly, try to avoid making quick movements. Get the kids and leave the house. Drop them off at Chelsie's and go straight to Alice’s cabin. I’ll meet you there in 3 hours. Alright?” he fired hurriedly in desperation.

“Alright”

 

On shaky legs, she slowly passed by Fernando, who did nothing but stand there, a cold gaze to his eyes, his accent hit her ear, mumbling in Italian.

She tried to ignore John’s horrified look and stomped towards the dresser that had been loaded with different items of clothing. She pulled out the dress she needed and wore it, turning back to John. “I’m so dizzy….”

“Baby, stay with me, you’ve got to go, now!”

 

The fall from euphoria was like hurtling through the air without a parachute. Hitting bottom hurt worse than anything. She remembered everything.

How deliriously she’d wanted him. Sorrow, grief, guilt… none of it had burdened her. She had to open her eyes to leave this bedroom. His odor attacked her sense of smell. With a deep groan, she leaned over the side of the bed and vomited every last memory onto the floor, purged it all from her system. But her system refused to stop spiraling into the depths of horror.

“Oh no...what did he give me..” she whispered, almost to herself, her voice raspy.  

Leaving her phone behind, she passed him, slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements.

 

Waking up the confused children, they quickly made their way to the front door. Realizing her phone was still upstairs she looked to the top of the staircase with worried eyes. John’s scream echoed wildly from within their bedroom, “DOC!! RUN!!!”