Waves of heat and cool throbbed all over her body as she stressed over how things had ended up with him when he had left her and Roman tonight. 

 

He texted a word.

 

“Wait.”

And than

“I’m coming.” 

 

Was he really coming over? 

No. 

He would never let them get caught. 

Roman was there. 

 

Just as her doubts began to take over, she got a text: 

 

“Downstairs.”

 

The thought he’d come back tonight hadn’t initially crossed her mind since their relationship didn’t really exist in the real world, save for their eyes. She certainly didn’t think he thought that would be the best place to meet. 

Too risky. 

She checked if Roman was already asleep, and walked down to the bottom floor of the penthouse. 

It felt as though they weren’t together there for years. 

It made her sad even thinking about it. 

 

Marlena entered the living room. Not a single light was on besides the light-sparkle nighttime glow of the Christmas lights. Hundreds of tiny lamps. He must have turned them back on.

 

“John?” She called out. 

Her skin tingled like she was watching that part of a scary movie when the girl slowly opened a door into a dark room and her doomed fate.

“John, I know you’re here.” Marlena gasped when she saw his tall silhouette in the shadows of the room. She watched him in silence for a few beats.

“What are you doing here?” 

 

He knew she didn’t just mean the penthouse. He walked up to her, his gait measured. But when he stepped closer to her, light glowed against his features, and the darkness no longer hid his passion. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in forcefully, the tips of her toes barely making contact with the floor as she landed against his hard chest. 

 

“I’m here because this place smells like you.”

She was right.

“Because I dream about you, the taste of your pussy, your moans, your cries, the way you beg for me...” she instantly became wet as his warm breath, spiced with just a hint of brandy, caressed the shell of her ear. 

She knew he was upset when he left but never thought he’d drown his sorrow that way. 

“Because as soon as I left tonight, I wanted to see you again. I’m watching the two of you together. Just to see you, and then even when I have that, it’s not enough. When I see Roman look at you the way I do, I want to kill him…God, Doc, I want to swallow you. I want to consume you. I want to possess you. I want you.” His other hand reached around and cradled the nape of her neck. It felt so small in his grasp like he could snap it with the jerk of his wrist. His lips brushed against her collarbone as he whispered the last words with a rasp: “I can’t take it.” 

The room got silent. 

 

Their breaths, heavy with want, were the only sound. She swore he could feel her heartbeat as it threatened to purge itself from her chest. 

Then there was an eruption. 

John turned her away and pressed her against the glass of the living room window to face the sparkling lights. The sounds of fabric rustling dominated the quiet as he wrestled off his shirt and buttoned rain on the floor as he ripped it off. His body pushed up against her backside. He slid his hand down between her legs. 

“John… Roman would-“

“This...” The other grabbed a breast. “This...is mine.” 

She shook her head up and down. Her mind spun as the view of the lights, and the smell of his cologne consumed her.

“Tell me, Doc. Tell me it’s mine.” 

“It’s yours,” she moaned shakily. 

“I love it when you moan like this….say it again.” 

“It’s yours, John.” 

He thrust his hips into her backside, his dense cock teasing her with its power. 

“Fuck, Marlena,” he said, clenching her hair and burying his face into its scent. “I want to damage you. I want to ruin you for anyone else.” 

“You already have,” she mewled, arching her neck to receive him. John yanked up her light blue dress past her hips and slid his hand down the front of her panties. 

“You’re so fucking wet.” He slid two fingers in, curling them, building more tension inside of her. She moaned and gyrated her hips against his cock as his fingers fucked her possessively. 

“Only for me,” he said. 

“Only for you,” she repeated back in surrender. 

Lifting his hand, he slid his wet fingers against her lower lip, and without a command, she lapped on them. His lips joined hers as together they tasted her arousal from his fingers. 

“You taste so fucking good. I love when the smell of your pussy stays on my mouth. It makes me hard again as soon as I leave you.” 

She curved harder against his cock. 

 

John has done dirty talk, really dirty, but this; he wanted her. 

 

When he dreamt, he tasted her; he smelled her, he felt her just like she did him. He pulled the fabric of the halter top to the valley of her breasts, exposing them to the cold sting of the glass. His bit against her shoulder, assuring her that whatever he felt towards her was very real. He was still an animal of a man, a brute who showed his affections through conquering. 

His warm hand contrasted with the cold of the window as he grabbed a handful of her breast, kneaded the meat until he arrived at the peak, and tugged on the nipple with his fingertips. She let out a husky moan from deep within her chest. 

She couldn’t wait any longer; she needed him inside of her. She needed him to put out the burn that spread through every cell of her body, destroying the Marlena who existed without John. 

 

“Fuck me, John, please,” she begged, reaching behind her and rubbing her hand against his own display of need. In one swooping motion, he pulled the dress over her head. Kneeling, he grabbed the thin strings of her penties and looked up at her while sliding them off. He grabbed one of her ankles and bent her leg at the knee, tugging at the ankle strap of her shoe with his teeth. 

She watched him over her shoulder, thriving on the thrill of John below her. “You taunt me with these. When you wear your little dresses, your tight jeans, your skirts, it’s like you’re trying to break my will.” His teeth sharply snapped at the smooth flesh of her ass, followed by his hands rubbing smoothing circles along its curves. 

 

She purred at his words, because there was some truth in them. She wasn’t sure, but she had always suspected he watched her after he was forced to leave the penthouse when Roman returned. Maybe not always, but at times, she could feel his eyes on her, as if the desire was so strong it sent out a beacon. 

There was security in his constant gaze; she felt wanted, adored, possessed. 

And yes, she often used to dress hoping he’ll see her, and want to rip off every last piece of clothing from her body. 

 

Marlena stood naked except for her heels, just as she had done so many times in the past, only this time it was in their living room, with her Ex-husband sleeping upstairs. 

Though when he spun her to face him this time, she didn’t think of Roman’s eyes tonight, looking at her from beyond his adoring eyes.

 

His upper body was naked, too, the ridges of his muscles highlighted by the shadows in the penthouse. He pressed his bare body against hers, warmth against warmth, flesh against flesh, for the first time in weeks.

 

His teeth grazed and tugged; his lips sucked, his tongue tasted. 

“Fuck me, John. Please.” 

“Doc...” he moaned, pressing his cock onto her belly. “Beg.” 

“Please,” she whispered breathlessly into his ear. “I need you inside of me. I need you.” And her confession, that this was becoming more than desire, it was becoming part of her identity, the fabric of who she was, set him off.

He unbuckled his pants, his belt buckle clinking against the carpet as it hit the floor. Her eyes snapped to the top of the stairs. 

Silence. 

 

He pulled himself out of his boxer briefs, stroking up and down her creamy entrance. 

“John...” she whimpered, thrusting her hips against him. 

 

What more could she do? 

 

He wanted her, he wanted her so bad, but he still teased. 

“Fuck me...” she pleaded, tugging on his neck with her teeth. 

“No, Marlena. You’re gonna fuck me tonight.” He grabbed two hunks of her ass and tore her from the ground. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he brought them to the couch, seating himself beneath her. “Fuck my face. Fuck my face the way I fuck you.” Her pussy throbbed with need, and she was eager to relieve the mounting tension. 

She straddled his shoulders as he leaned back, and softly lowered herself onto his face. His blue eyes stared back at her, full of sexual energy and power, daring her. Even though she was on top, this was his doing. His mouth latched onto her pussy, like a venomous snake, and he plunged his tongue deep inside of her. 

Her hips thrust against his face, he groaned as she called out his name like a desperate prayer.

“God, John,” she gasped out. “Fuck!” 

 

Thank God, Roman was taking tranquilizers. 

 

His tongue swirled along her hypersensitive clit. Her hips swayed on his face with abandon. 

“God!” She drew deep breaths of air, like she was drowning in lust. His hands grasped the meaty flesh of her ass and dug in painfully, sending a shot of energy through her. She fucked his face hard, as if his tongue were a cock. 

Her juices soaked her thighs like John was biting into a ripe piece of fruit. With no shame, she loudly sucked for air, as her pent-up desire exploded all over his mouth. 

 

She grabbed her breasts, her hands too small to palm them the way he did, but she molded them anyway, their softness contrasting the harshness of her grinding. 

Grinding. 

Fucking. 

Creaming. 

Thrusting.

 

John’s warm mouth drank her, reveling in her juices. He grunted like a starving man consuming a feast. Her clit pulsated in shockwaves that rippled throughout her body, alternating between waves of euphoria and numbness, like her being was overloaded on desire. She gripped her fingers through his hair, and she rode his face like a raging bull rider until the intense ripples died down. 

 

Her core tingled with the aftershocks of his work, but this wasn’t over. Still sensitive from coming, he guided her down onto his solid cock, and she let out a choked cry of pleasure. His cock filled her, hitting so deep into her womb, it bordered on pain. The full head of his cock rubbed against the sensitive spot inside of her, like their parts were designed to fit perfectly. 

He looked right into her hooded eyes, the way he had ingrained in her, but hers were not on his. Instead, she watched him bit his lip, still glowing with her wetness, as he admired her body with a look of ownership. 

A look she was used to getting from him every day she walked by him. 

His hands ran up her torso, and each one grabbed a breast, squeezing so that each nipple puffed up. He glided his wet lips along the tips, and she melted underneath the sensation. “Marlena, your breasts are beautiful,” he growled. 

He ran the tip of his tongue along a nipple, then bit and tugged harshly with his teeth. She yelped as he followed up by sucking on it. 

 

“Fuck me, Marlena,” he commanded. “Hard. Dirty. I know how you like it.” His eyes returned to hers, and he leaned back, holding her waist, watching her as she rode him. She bathed in that warm, familiar territory, running her fingers along his chest, his shoulders, his ripped abs. His breathing became harsh, the pain in his eyes battled to surface. He grabbed her hands forcefully, and crossed them behind her back. His tone became serious, as if he was growing impatient. “Marlena, I said fuck me.” 

 

He sat up, biting the flesh of her breasts, clenching her wrists angrily. She threw her head back, relishing in his control. “Doc, don’t fucking test me. I asked you something.” Something about his threat turned her wild. 

Face to face, finally naked and exposed. 

Like a wild animal that has been tied down, she resisted his grip in rebellion. It only made him use another fraction of his strength to restrain her. 

She was hopeless in John’s arms. He clutched both of her wrists in one of his large hands, the force of his grip bit into her flesh. With the other hand, he slapped her ass so hard she wrangled against him. 

“Come on, baby, fuck me. Show me who you really are.” 

 

She bounced up and down on his cock, growling in erotic pain from the depths he reached. He spanked her again with no restraint. The spot where his hand landed pulsated with fire. “I know you want this. You like it when I hurt you.” 

Another slap, so hard, she growled uncharacteristically. 

 

“Oh, Fuck!” She shouted at him as she bounced ferociously on his cock. Her breasts bounced up and down recklessly, and he slapped her again. 

Hard. 

“Fuck!” She cried out. 

“There you go. My good little slut.” 

 

She raised and raised, again going to a height where only John could lift her. He gripped her face, kissing her so hard she tasted blood. He raised up to his feet, still inside of her. His show of strength brought out a beast, and she bit his neck fiercely. 

He slammed her down on a couch, knocking over decorative vases from the coffee table. The clash of the soft fabric against her warm body made her choke with excitement. 

 

“Fuck, Doc,” he said with a smirk. “You wanna fuck like animals? I’ll fuck you like an animal. You’ll howl like a fucking animal.” He brought her legs up on his shoulders and leaned forward, elevating her hips off the bed. Using that leverage, he rubbed his cock inside of her, and it only took a few thrusts before she howled as she gripped the fabric. As she reached the apex of her orgasm, he pulled out and slammed into her over and over, adding pain to the incomprehensible pleasure as she let out sounds no human woman should make. 

 

“Fuck...” he said, digging his fingers into the front of her thighs. He beat her pussy with his cock and shot his warmth inside of her, snarling like a savage beast. 

 

***********

 

“Damn, look at the time. You need to leave,” she thought aloud, her eyes following the railing to the top floor. 

He turned, and she involuntarily bit her lip at the thought. “Don’t worry about it, Doc, I’m sure he’s sound asleep.” 

His comment seemed to break the quiet. “Will you sit with me?” He asked. 

He jutted his chin up skeptically, wondering what he was still doing there. “I’m so used of you running away. Maybe I should open up wine or something.” He sounded like an alien life form reciting the ins and outs of human behavior. 

“Well… we did promise to not do this while Roman was still oblivious to the truth...”

 

He smiled, and her stomach quivered like harp strings. “It was a difficult night for you tonight, when I left, wasn’t it?” 

“Yes it was,” she said with sorrow. 

He came to the couch with two glasses and a freshly opened bottle of Prosecco. He sat down beside her and poured them each a glass. 

“Your feet are freezing,” he commented. 

She didn’t even realize she had burrowed them under his thigh. It was an unconscious thing she had always done. “They always get cold, you know,” she said apologetically. 

She has always had a habit of rubbing them for warmth. “Roman used to give me so much crap about it when we were married.” 

He looked at her and faintly nodded like he somehow understood this. He handed her a glass, then put his down and grabbed her feet from underneath him, placing them on his lap and rubbing them in his large warm hands. “If you want me to warm them, all you have to do is ask.” The tone in his voice reminded her of their countless hours together. 

“Seeing as you are already warming them, I guess I don’t.”

 

There was a lull because they could go on about pleasantries, but this thing they have was the opposite of casual. 

It was loaded, full of unanswered questions and unspoken feelings. If there was anything she understood about this labyrinth of a man, it was how much he loved her. 

He said he wanted more, but she didn’t think he knew how to define that. She has to have the guts to show him what that was. 

 

“Doc, what are we doing?” he asked, bracing himself for a harsh reminder. 

This wasn’t just about fucking. 

He owed her. 

Body and mind.

She owned him. 

She reached forward for her glass and took a sip. “I don’t know.” 

He huffed out a single laugh—what a casual response. 

It was honest, though. 

“I love you...” 

Her body language became rigid. Those words meant a lot to him. She reached out and softly put her hand on his shoulder. “I do too.” 

He looked over to her, his blue eyes reflecting the tiny lights. 

“I know.” He says it sadly as if her words were tragic. 

“Then why are we doing this?” he asked.

 

Even she didn’t get it.

 

She chugged the Prosecco. “John, I ask myself that all the time. I thought about it a lot when you left tonight.” 

His eyes turned away. 

“I know you think I am just some stupid woman who did something really stupid by lying to someone she was married too. But I can’t turn my back on him. Not in his condition.” 

He leaned forward, digesting her words. “Marlena, I’m trying to fight this. I’ve been trying to fight this for weeks. I’m going to hurt you eventually, and Roman. Not because I want to but because that’s what happens. It’s what I do...” 

“That’s not true. I think you believe that about yourself. I think that’s why you told me once you can’t receive love. But I don’t believe that about you, not even for a second. I know you too well to-” 

“Marlena, you don’t know anything about my past, of what I’m capable of.” His words were filled with regret. He didn’t want to get into it right now. There was no reason.

“Then tell me.”

“I can’t.”

She looked down, but then she met his eyes again. He changed the subject. “Doc, we can’t go on like this forever. Eventually, the truth will need to come out.” 

“Just because we want more, doesn’t mean we can have it.” 

 

His heart plunged, and his fiery side jumped from that low point. “Marlena, maybe you haven’t noticed this about me. But I usually get what I want.”

 

She shook her head at him as if to set him straight, but then she furrowed her eyebrows in realization. “Actually, you’re right...” 

“What you’re doing to me, to us, it’s not right.” He pleaded. 

“I gotta keep playing the part, John. The loving ex-wife, beautiful children, a big old house with a picket fence.”

“I can’t keep doing this-” 

“John, I promise you will regret these words.” Her honesty was so brutal sometimes it physically hurt. 

“Doc.” He said stubbornly. 

“John,” she said, firming her stance. “Not now.” 

“I’ve thought about it so much. Doc... Aren’t you tired of hiding?” 

“That’s Enough.”

“I deserve to know why you’re not telling him about us.” 

“Not tonight.” 

“Then when?”

“When the time is right.” she sighed. 

“John, trust me when I say there are reasons you will understand soon. I’m trying to protect you.” 

“Protect me? Does he know about us?” 

“No. I promise...” Her eyes grew black. 

“I won’t stop asking you to come with me.”

“I know.” 

He looked her up and down, his eyes outlining the trauma on her body. He was so consumed before, that he missed the marks. He reached out and ran a gentle finger on one of the marks. Her nostrils flared and lips pursed as she looked ahead. 

“What happened to you, Doc?” he asked tenderly. 

“Paris…Stefano.” She said, the hard sentence making it clear she won’t say more. 

“That son of a-” His jaw tightened, and the vein on his neck stirred. 

“It happened a year ago…leave it.” Her words were hollow, as though she didn’t care.

 

Silence.

 

“Are you alright?”

She nodded quietly.

He stroked her silky hair, knowing that her hurt lied deep and no words he said now would change that. “I guess I should ask you then...” he blew at segues. 

“What?” 

“Did Roman see the—“ 

“No.”

“Because-“ 

“The answer is no.”

He rested his head on her lap, nuzzling into the scent of their sex that lingered on her groin. She buried herself, hoping that she’ll get under his skin the way he has gotten under hers. That he’ll get against his instincts the way he had made her go against hers. His fingers stroked her hair. The room was silent, but not quiet, the volume of John’s introspection was deafening.

“John,” she finally said in a woozy voice. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. I’ll tell him everything.”